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Pyrion Flax Announcer Pack

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Pyrion Flax Announcer Pack
Cosmetic icon Announcer Pyrion Flax.png
Bundle
Rarity: Mythical
Slot: Announcer Pack

This pack replaces the Default announcer and Mega-Kills announcer with the unique and unruly humor of Dota 2 satirist Pyrion Flax.
Created By
Released
Origin
Pyrion Flax Announcer Pack
Announcer: Pyrion Flax
Mega-Kills: Pyrion Flax

Contents

Welcome

50% chance, only for All Pick, Least Played, Limited Heroes and Mid Only

  • Um, is this thing working? followup
  • Dota 2. If you are playing with friends, say goodbye to them now. followup
  • Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome to Dota 2. followup
  • Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome to Dota 2. followup
  • Welcome to Pyrion Flax's guide to losing at Dota 2. followup
  • Uh welcome to Pyrion Flax's guide to Dota 2. followup
  • Phone off the hook. Shirt off. Pants off. Time to Dotes! followup
  • Time for Dota! Mhu hu ha ha haa! followup
  • Mhu hu hu ha ha ha! Let us Dotes. followup
  • Dota 2 welcomes you! followup
  • u Welcome to Dota 2.
  • It's a lovely day outside and here you are, playing Dota 2. followup

5% chance, only for the same modes as above

  • Pyrion Flax announcer pack? Seriously? followup

1% chance, only for the same modes as above

Game mode

All Pick

  • r All pick, thank God.
  • r All pick.

All Random

  • r All random? What the bloody hell is going on?
  • r All random? Why would you do such a thing?
  • r All random.

Captain's Draft

  • r Captain's draft? Yawn.
  • r Captain's draft.

Captain's Mode

  • r Tryhard meganerd mode.
  • r Captain's mode.

Deathmatch

  • r Deathmatch? Tell me this isn't literally a deathmatch.
  • r Deathmatch!

Easy Mode

  • u Easy mode! My favorite mode!

Least Played

  • r Least played!
  • r Least played mode.
  • r Least played mode.

Mid Only

  • r All mid!
  • r All mid.
  • r All mid!
  • u All mid. Pudge wars!

Random Draft

  • r Random draft? Why didn't anyone tell me? Oh god.
  • r Random draft.

Reverse Captain's Mode

  • r Reverse captain's mode.
  • r Activate reverse captain's mode.
  • r Sniatpac mode!

Single Draft

  • r Single draft? In this modern age how is such cruelty permitted to exist?
  • r Single draft.

Other Modes
Limited Heroes, One vs One and other possible future game modes

  • r Pick your hero!

Drafting

Picking

  • Your turn to pick.
  • Enemy team's turn to pick!
  • Radiant team pick.
  • Dire team pick!

Banning

  • Ban a thing!
  • Your turn to ban.
  • Ban someone please!
  • Soon they will ban.
  • They're gonna ban someone.
  • Enemy's turn to ban.
  • Your opponents are banning.
  • Radiant team ban.
  • The green team's banning someone now.
  • Dire team ban.
  • Bad dudes banning someone now.

1% chance

  • Ban a dude. Ban Dark Seer, he's terrifying!

Time left to pick

  • u 10 Seconds idiot.
  • 5 seconds remaining.
  • Reserve time.
  • u You are using reserve time.
  • u Extra time.
  • u You are using extra time.

3% chance

  • Reserve time. It's not free, you know.

Draft end

  • u Our team is complete.
  • u Your team is complete.
  • u Radiant's team is complete.
  • u Dire's team is complete.
  • Well done, whoever did that. Let's just play Dota 2 now, geez. followup
  • Pick your hero!
  • You may now select your hero.

Picking specific heroes

30% chance

  • Ancient Apparition minimap icon.png r Man, once people start calling you ancient, you know it's over.
  • Ancient Apparition minimap icon.png r So Ancient Apparition is an apparition of an ancient apparition?
  • Alchemist minimap icon.png r Two men enter, one man leaves.
  • Anti-Mage minimap icon.png r Anti-fun!
  • Anti-Mage minimap icon.png r Hands up if you hate Anti-Mage!
  • Axe minimap icon.png r He hits you so hard you turn into a number!
  • Bane minimap icon.png r This dude is bloody terrifying.
  • Batrider minimap icon.png r Heh he he he fire! He he he!
  • Beastmaster minimap icon.png r He's master of beasts and who does he get to help him? A bird and a pig. Whop-e-do!
  • Bloodseeker minimap icon.png r Can he even see with that thing on?
  • Brewmaster minimap icon.png r I hope he's got some cider on him.
  • Brewmaster minimap icon.png r I reckon, and I'm going out on a limb here, but I reckon that this lad likes a drink.
  • Broodmother minimap icon.png r Ahh! Bloody hell! Get a massive newspaper!
  • Invoker minimap icon.png r Buttons buttons buttons!
  • Centaur Warrunner minimap icon.png r The charge of the extremely heavy brigade.
  • Centaur Warrunner minimap icon.png r Part man, part centaur.
  • Dark Seer minimap icon.png r Long lost cousin of the coneheads.
  • Dark Seer minimap icon.png r He's like a really bloody unpleasant hedgehog.
  • Dark Seer minimap icon.png r Ahh! It's Dark Seer! Ahh!
  • Disruptor minimap icon.png r Disruptor? I hardly knew her!
  • Disruptor minimap icon.png r He's got a lizard, a huge beard, and he can harness electricity! He's the man!
  • Doom minimap icon.png r Doommmmmm!
  • Doom minimap icon.png r Doom!
  • Doom minimap icon.png r Doom!
  • Doom minimap icon.png r Hail Doombringer.
  • Dragon Knight minimap icon.png r He's a dragon, a knight, and in his spare time he likes to bake.
  • Drow Ranger minimap icon.png r The words Drow and Ranger together is like a nerd magnet.
  • Earthshaker minimap icon.png r He's a big old lovable sloth bear thing.
  • Enigma minimap icon.png r He's a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, boxed up and shoved in a crate and stored in a giant warehouse.
  • Gyrocopter minimap icon.png r It's gyro, not geero. He's not a flying bloody kebab.
  • Gyrocopter minimap icon.png r One of the few truly mustachioed heroes in the game.
  • Huskar minimap icon.png r Huskar used to be called Buskar, but people don't give you spare change when you stab them in the neck with a flaming spear.
  • Jakiro minimap icon.png r This dragon has two heads?
  • Jakiro minimap icon.png r He's the bogof of the dragon world!
  • Jakiro minimap icon.png r Buy one dragon, get another dragon glued on the side!
  • Jakiro minimap icon.png r Buy one dragon, get another dragon melded on to the side! There's two dragons hrrr!
  • Juggernaut minimap icon.png r Go on juggles!
  • Juggernaut minimap icon.png r Behind that mask is a dude who is insanely dizzy!
  • Keeper of the Light minimap icon.png r The trick with Kotl is you annoy the hell out of everybody!
  • Leshrac minimap icon.png r A bloody great blue pony thing.
  • Lich minimap icon.png r Hell yeah, it's Lich!
  • Lifestealer minimap icon.png r You can't break those cuffs!
  • Lifestealer minimap icon.png r I can break these cuffs!
  • Lifestealer minimap icon.png r He looks like somebody reanimated a pizza.
  • Lina minimap icon.png r Oh ho ho! Oh Lina. Oh ho!
  • Lina minimap icon.png r She can light my fire. Because uh, she's a woman and she's got the fire and everything.
  • Lion minimap icon.png r Give 'em the finger!
  • Lion minimap icon.png r Here on the plains of the Serengeti we see the ugliest magician in the universe.
  • Lion minimap icon.png r What happens if he tries to hex an actual frog?
  • Lone Druid minimap icon.png r How can he be called Lone Druid when he has a bear for company?
  • Lycan minimap icon.png r Beware the moon!
  • Lycan minimap icon.png r Good doggie! Nice little pooch!
  • Meepo minimap icon.png r More Meepos, more problems.
  • Meepo minimap icon.png r Worst forty-five minutes of my life was playing as Meepo.
  • Morphling minimap icon.png r He's composed of H2O molecules that bonded with molecules of pure, grade-A bullpoop to form this monstrosity.
  • Morphling minimap icon.png r County's biggest, dampest, most unpleasant bumhead.
  • Naga Siren minimap icon.png r Naga siren. Sound the BS alarm. Aauuuuooonnn.
  • Nature's Prophet minimap icon.png r More like Nature's Profit! Am I right? Prophet. Proph-prophet yeah it works better on paper.
  • Necrophos minimap icon.png u Necrolyte! The diet version of Necro.
  • Night Stalker minimap icon.png r He works nights. Give the man a break.
  • Night Stalker minimap icon.png r It's night dude!
  • Nyx Assassin minimap icon.png r This guy is trying way too hard to be Sand King.
  • Phantom Lancer minimap icon.png r Oh my God. I have literally no idea what to do against this guy.
  • Phantom Lancer minimap icon.png r He looks like a really angry cat, but he has nothing to complain about.
  • Phantom Lancer minimap icon.png r A phantom lancer is worse than a phantom fart, let me tell ya.
  • Pudge minimap icon.png r He's a cockney. No I don't care what you think. Pudge is a cockney.
  • Bristleback minimap icon.png r Cor blimey gov!
  • Queen of Pain minimap icon.png r Her sister is Queen of Pine, and works for a large, Swedish furniture retailer.
  • Queen of Pain minimap icon.png r So hot. And so scary.
  • Razor minimap icon.png r Oh he's an electric razor. I finally get it!
  • Riki minimap icon.png r Hardest hero to draw, bar none.
  • Rubick minimap icon.png r Multiply that by a Rubick.
  • Sand King minimap icon.png r Harnesses the awesome power of s-sand.
  • Clinkz minimap icon.png r He's a bloody skeleton!
  • Skeleton King minimap icon.png u He's got a bone motorcycle, he plays the trom-bone, he's got a bone phone, he's got it all!
  • Slardar minimap icon.png r Something smells a bit mm-fishy.
  • Slardar minimap icon.png r Slarduuuuur.
  • Slark minimap icon.png r Aw, a detestable little man.
  • Slark minimap icon.png r Slarkasm is the lowest form of wit.
  • Slark minimap icon.png r He's Meepo's brother. Just look at him.
  • Sniper minimap icon.png r Sniper is awesome. At kill-stealing.
  • Spirit Breaker minimap icon.png r Mmmmmove over!
  • Storm Spirit minimap icon.png r Storm Spirit! Ha ha ha!
  • Sven minimap icon.png r How can Sven inspire his allies when he's just like *mumbling sounds*?
  • Templar Assassin minimap icon.png r What kind of temple has an assassin?
  • Tiny minimap icon.png r Rock beats scissors!
  • Tiny minimap icon.png r He's a living misnomer!
  • Undying minimap icon.png r Undying!
  • Undying minimap icon.png r Who died and made you king of the zombies?
  • Ursa minimap icon.png r He's a bear!
  • Ursa minimap icon.png r Ursa is responsible for a lot of pants-soiling in my house.
  • Venomancer minimap icon.png r He doesn't need wards. He poops wards.
  • Venomancer minimap icon.png r Is it ve-no, or vee-no?
  • Viper minimap icon.png r See now this guy's easy. It's just q q q q q.
  • Visage minimap icon.png r Visaaaage. Sounds like an 80s band.
  • Warlock minimap icon.png r Great. Now we're all going to die.
  • Io minimap icon.png r Wisp looks like an alien that would totally kill a red shirt in an episode of Star Trek and be like my people do not comprehend death woooooo!

25% chance

  • Kunkka minimap icon.pngLone Druid minimap icon.pngAnti-Mage minimap icon.pngDeath Prophet minimap icon.pngEmber Spirit minimap icon.pngInvoker minimap icon.pngLion minimap icon.pngEnigma minimap icon.pngRubick minimap icon.png r Ah! Popped collar! Pro player alarm sounded!
  • Axe minimap icon.pngBeastmaster minimap icon.pngCentaur Warrunner minimap icon.pngKunkka minimap icon.pngSpirit Breaker minimap icon.pngAnti-Mage minimap icon.pngElder Titan minimap icon.pngMagnus minimap icon.pngPudge minimap icon.png r Yes! More beef! More beef!
  • Alchemist minimap icon.pngAxe minimap icon.pngBeastmaster minimap icon.pngCentaur Warrunner minimap icon.pngDark Seer minimap icon.pngDisruptor minimap icon.pngEarthshaker minimap icon.pngNature's Prophet minimap icon.pngKeeper of the Light minimap icon.pngKunkka minimap icon.pngLeshrac minimap icon.pngLone Druid minimap icon.pngNecrophos minimap icon.pngOmniknight minimap icon.pngSniper minimap icon.pngSpirit Breaker minimap icon.pngStorm Spirit minimap icon.pngTinker minimap icon.pngTiny minimap icon.pngTreant Protector minimap icon.pngTusk minimap icon.png r Hmm hm! Bearded!
  • Alchemist minimap icon.pngAxe minimap icon.pngBeastmaster minimap icon.pngCentaur Warrunner minimap icon.pngDark Seer minimap icon.pngDisruptor minimap icon.pngEarthshaker minimap icon.pngNature's Prophet minimap icon.pngKeeper of the Light minimap icon.pngKunkka minimap icon.pngLeshrac minimap icon.pngLone Druid minimap icon.pngNecrophos minimap icon.pngOmniknight minimap icon.pngSniper minimap icon.pngSpirit Breaker minimap icon.pngStorm Spirit minimap icon.pngTinker minimap icon.pngTiny minimap icon.pngTreant Protector minimap icon.pngTusk minimap icon.png r Ah! Nice beard!

15% chance

  • Weaver minimap icon.png r You Sneaky, unpleasant son of a bitch.

Beginning battle

Entering battle

  • Prepare for battle!
  • Prepare for battle.
  • Prepare for battle!
  • Prepare for battle!
  • Oh my god it's almost time!

Time before battle
30 seconds

  • Just enough time to make a cup of tea.
  • Thirty seconds!

10 seconds

  • Why does it have to count down like this? I'm nervous enough as it is!
  • Ten seconds to battle.

Battle begins

Kills

First Blood

  • Rambo style. First blood!
  • If you want a war you've got. First blood!
  • First blood! followup

Spectator only

  • First blood! And I didn't miss it!

Double Kill

  • That's a twofer!

15% chance, player only

  • r You've got a double-kill! (harmonica)

1% chance, player only

  • r (While playing xylophone) They will sing a song about how awesome you were today because you have given them a thrill, because you've got a double kill!

Triple Kill

  • Boosh! Boosh! Boosh!
  • Three dudes? Impossible! followup

Ultra Kill

  • Oh boosh booshidie boosh-boosh!

Rampage

  • By the legend of Hall and Oates, did you see that? followup

Killing Spree

Dominating

  • Bibble bibble bibble.
  • Bibble bibble bibble.

15% chance, player only

  • You just got drafted by Pwn State!

Mega Kill

  • Manly!
  • Manly!

15% chance, player only

  • You just killed a boy band's worth of enemies.

Unstoppable

  • Oh the humanity!

Wicked Sick

  • Nerf this man!

Monster Kill

  • Prophecy is true. He is the chosen one!

Godlike

Holy Shit

  • My god. It's full of stars!

Ownage

  • 20 Ownage!
  • 20 Ownage!

20% chance

  • r Ownage!

15% chance

  • r The square root of the own zone!

Non-streak related
5% chance, any player death

  • r Boosh!
  • r Boosh!
  • r Boosh!
  • r Boosh!
  • r Boosh!
  • r Skadoosh!
  • u Boosh! Boosh! Boosh!
  • u Oh boosh booshidie boosh-boosh!
  • Morphling minimap icon.png r Aqua-boosh!
  • Morphling minimap icon.png r We gotta take steps.
  • u You're an anchor for this team!

Team Wipe
Your team
15% chance

  • r Number one on Fails of the Week, guaranteed!
  • r Toughen up!
  • r Toughen up!
  • r Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
  • r What the hell is going on?

5% chance

  • r Well done man! Now we can all respawn together and hold hands and sing songs around the freaking campfire about what an idiot you are.

Enemy team
50% chance

  • r Oh man that teamfight had more booshes than a boosh salad!
  • r Booshes galore!
  • r Does anybody else need a new pair of underpants.
  • r That play just made it into the Grand Pantheon of Dota 2 plays. But it is a very, very big pantheon.
  • r What are we playing for here?
  • r Bibble bibble bibble.
  • r We got this man. We got this by the ass.
  • r This is one of those games I wish was in slow-mo because my brain just melted.
  • r Okay, someone explain what happened because I have literally no idea.

Team announcements

Your Radiant Dire Enemy
Courier
killed
  • They killed the courier! Your courier is dead.
  • They killed your courier!
  • u They killed the courier!
  • Radiant's courier has been killed!
  • Oh Radiant's courier is dead!
  • Radiant's courier is dead!
  • Dire's courier has been killed!
  • Dire's courier is dead.
Roshan
killed
  • Roshan has fallen to the Radiant. followup
  • Rosh is just a chill dude, so someone explain to me why Radiant had to go and kill him?
  • Radiant killed Roshan! What's radiant about that?
  • Roshan has fallen to the Dire! followup
  • Hey uh someone check Rosh. Maybe they're doing Rosh. Wait, Dire did Rosh.
Structure
under attack

Top tower

  • 10 Your top tower is under attack. followup
  • 10 Your top tower is under attack. followup

25% chance

  • 30 Uh excuse me sir, but it's your top tower. It says it's being destroyed.

1% chance

  • r That top tower of yours ain lookin--no, wait, sorry, no, wrong announcer pack.

Middle tower

  • 10 Your middle tower is under attack! followup

25% chance

  • 30 Ah, pardon the interruption sir but it's phonecall from your middle tower. It says it's being destroyed.

Bottom tower

  • 10 Your bottom tower is under attack! followup

Top barracks

  • 10 Your top barracks are under attack. followup

Middle barracks

  • 10 Your middle barracks are under attack. followup
  • 10 Oh lord. Not the middle barracks! Not old middly!

Bottom barracks

  • 10 Your bottom barracks are under attack. followup
  • 10 Mind out chaps. Bottom barracks is getting piddled on.
  • 10 Cor blimey gov. Not me bottom rax!

The Ancient

  • 10 Your ancient is under attack. followup
  • 10 Your ancient is under attack! followup
  • 10 They're attacking the big rock thingie.
  • 10 Your ancient is under attack. followup

Top tower

  • 10 Radiant's top tower is under attack! followup
  • 30 Green dude's top thing is about to get knocked over.

Middle tower

  • 10 Radiant's middle tower is under attack! followup

Bottom tower

  • 20 You green dudes: something bad is happening. In your bottom.

Top barracks

  • 10 Radiant's top barracks are under attack.

10% chance

  • r Good guys top rax is going to be covered in winner's poop soon enough.

Middle barracks

  • 10 Radiant's middle barracks are under attack.
  • u Middle rax. That's gg bro. G bloody G.

Bottom barracks

  • 10 Radiant's bottom barracks are under attack.

10% chance

  • r Bottom rax gonna give it to ya! Not anymore. It's being pooped on.

The Ancient

  • 10 Radiant's ancient is under attack! followup
  • 10 Radiant's ancient is getting killed!

Top tower

  • 30 Bad dude's top tower gonna fall over soon!
  • 10 Dire's top tower is under attack. followup

Middle tower

  • 30 Bad dudes. Middle tower! Everyone go! Now!
  • 10 Dire's middle tower is under attack. followup

Bottom tower

  • 10 Dire's bottom tower is under attack! followup
  • 10 Dire's bottom tower is under attack! followup

Top barracks

  • 10 Dire's top barracks are under attack.
  • 10 Bad dude's top rax is getting minced!

Middle barracks

  • 10 Dire's middle barracks are under attack.
  • 10 Going from bad to worse. Now the bad dudes' middle rax is getting shafted.

Bottom barracks

  • 10 Dire's bottom barracks are under attack.

The Ancient

  • 10 Dire's ancient is under attack! followup
  • 10 Dire's ancient needs rescuing!
  • 10 The evil dudes' base is getting owned.
Structure
fallen

Top tower

  • 10 Your top tower has fallen. followup
  • 10 Remember that top tower you liked so much? Mmwa! Kiss it goodbye!

Middle tower

  • 10 Your middle tower has fallen. followup
  • 10 Middle tower. Take it off your Christmas card list. It's gone!

Bottom tower

  • 10 Your bottom tower has fallen. followup
  • 10 Bottom tower go bye-bye.

Top barracks

  • 10 Your top barracks has fallen. followup

Middle barracks

  • 10 Your middle barracks has fallen. followup
  • 10 Uh hello? We needed that middle rax.

Bottom barracks

  • 10 Your bottom barracks has fallen. followup
  • 10 Pff. Bottom rax. Who needs it?

Top tower

  • 10 Radiant's top tower has fallen.
  • 10 Green dude's tower got owned, son!

Middle tower

  • 10 Radiant's middle tower has fallen.
  • 10 Uh yo good guys. Middle tower got owned. What'cha gonna do? Get mad, or get even?

Bottom tower

  • 10 Radiant's bottom tower has fallen.
  • 10 Good dude's bottom just fell off.

Top barracks

  • 10 Radiant's top barracks has fallen.

10% chance

  • r Ah this just in, can now confirm: poop now all over good guy's top rax.

Middle barracks

  • 10 Radiant's middle barracks has fallen.
  • 10 Okay that really is gg. Good guy's middle rax is in pieces.

Bottom barracks

  • 10 Radiant's bottom barracks has fallen.
  • 10 Bottom rax gone. Turns out Radiant did need it.

Top tower

  • 10 Dire's top tower has fallen.
  • 10 Bad dude's top is all nasty and broke-y!

Middle tower

  • 10 Dire's middle tower has fallen.
  • 10 Ruh roh! Bad dudes. Ruh roh! Middly-widdly gone all diddly!

Bottom tower

  • 10 That bottom tower you bad dudes had was crap anyway. Don’t sweat it.
  • 10 Dire's bottom tower has fallen.

Top barracks

  • 10 Dire's top barracks has fallen.
  • 10 Bad dude's rax is now officially burger meat.

Middle barracks

  • 10 Dire's middle barracks has fallen.
  • 10 Ey bad dudes. Your middle rax is like uh chopped liver. Fuggeddaboutit.

Bottom barracks

  • 10 Dire's bottom barracks has fallen.

Top tower

  • 10 The enemy's top tower has fallen. followup
  • 10 Hell yeah! Their top tower got boned.

Middle tower

  • 10 The enemy's middle tower has fallen. followup

Bottom tower

  • 10 The enemy's bottom tower has fallen! followup
  • 10 Those sods. We got their bottom tower. Rock on, Tommy!

Top barracks

  • 10 The enemy's top barracks has fallen.
  • 10 Oh flippin' nora we got their top rax!

Middle barracks

  • 10 The enemy's middle barracks has fallen. followup

Bottom barracks

  • 10 The enemy's bottom barracks has fallen. followup
  • 10 Their bottom rax has been fired into the sun with a giant catapult.
Structure
denied

Top tower

  • 10 Your top tower has been denied. followup
  • 10 I think it's shift and A to deny things. Pretty sure. Top tower denied anyway.

Middle tower

  • 10 Your middle tower has been denied. followup
  • 10 How did you do that? You denied that tower man! That was so pro!

Bottom tower

  • 10 Your bottom tower has been denied. followup
  • 10 Wow. Denied. I'm surprised.

Top tower

  • 10 Radiant's top tower has been denied.
  • 10 Good guy's top tower is denied. Whop-e-do!

Middle tower

  • 10 Radiant's middle tower has been denied.
  • 10 Good guys middle tower got denied. Somebody did that. That's such a pro move.

Bottom tower

  • 10 Radiant's bottom tower has been denied.
  • 10 Good guys bottom tower has been denied. Good luck upgrading the donkey now.

Top tower

  • 10 Dire's top tower has been denied.
  • 10 Bad dudes did something really evil, and owned their own top tower!

Middle tower

  • 10 Dire's middle tower has been denied.

Bottom tower

  • 10 Bottom tower denied for those evil bastards. Oh they make me so mad. Mmm!

Top tower

  • 10 The enemy's top tower has been denied. followup
  • 10 Their top tower fell over. Oh wait, they did it.

Middle tower

  • 10 The enemy's middle tower has been denied. followup
  • 10 Oh man, middle tower denied. How can I afford wards now?

Bottom tower

  • 10 The enemy's bottom tower has been denied. followup
  • 10 They denied their bottom tower. Can we still be friends.
Structures
fortified
  • Radiant structures are fortified. followup
  • Dire structures are fortified! followup
Megacreeps
  • Megecreeps. Aw! Those guys are awesome!
  • We now have megacreeps. followup
  • We have megacreeps. We win!
  • u You now have megacreeps.
  • The Radiant now have megacreeps.
  • Good guys gonna win. Megacreeps riding to the rescue.
  • The Dire now have megacreeps.
  • Bad guy have megacreeps. Bad guy have megacreeps. Bad guys have megacreeps all up in your grill.
  • They have megacreeps. Just go hide in the fountain. It's cool, everybodydoes it.
  • The megacreeps will kill you. Megacreeps will kill you. Megacreeps will kill you.
  • The enemy now has megacreeps. followup
Victory

15% chance, Radiant team

  • Oh Radiant won! I could kiss you!

15% chance, Dire team

  • Well done Dire. I will personally shake all of your hands.
  • Good guys win! How tremendous!
  • Radiant victory! followup
  • Victoire! Victoire! Vive le Radiant!

15% chance

  • Whoa. The good guys won. That literally never happens.
  • The Dire dudes won and now that's it, everything is over.
  • Dire victory! followup

15% chance, Radiant team

  • Oh goody goody gumdrops. The land of faeries and little kittens won. Vomit.

15% chance, Dire team

  • Are you happy now, bad dudes? Huh? Oh you, you are? Okay, good! Good for you!

Respawning

5% chance

  • r If you do that again, your teammates are going to shout at you, and you will cry.
  • r Why aren't you getting this?
  • r Uh, being bad is a choice.
  • r Stop being aggressively terrible.
  • Batrider minimap icon.png r Man this Batrider is awesome. He hasn't touched the ground once since the match started!
  • Axe minimap icon.png r Axe goes to base to respawn.
  • Axe minimap icon.png r Good day sir!
  • Doom minimap icon.png r You should steal the power of not sucking.
  • Pudge minimap icon.png r Pudge, let's not sugarcoat it, this man is a food singularity!
  • Spirit Breaker minimap icon.png r Spirit Breaker is not amoooosed.

Lane missing

  • u Your top is missing.
  • u Missing top!
  • u Missing top!
  • u Missing middle!
  • u Middle is missing!
  • u Missing middle!
  • u Your bottom is missing.
  • u Your bottom is missing.
  • u Where's your bottom? It's missing!

Periods with no action

15% chance, any time

  • u I may need to alt+tab from time to time to find out how this all works.
  • r It could go one way, or the other, which is to say: I have no idea what the hell is going on.
  • r How's the weather there? Eh? Raining here. Yeah. Rubbish isn't it. Oh well.
  • r Let me just set my alarm here. Wake me up when people start playing Dota.

15% chance, mid game and onward

  • r Ah to be young again.
  • r I wish to God I could be even one-tenth as good as these guys.
  • r Somebody take over please. I need to make a cup of tea.
  • r Once upon a time, there was a game of Dota 2. And nothing happened at all.
  • r Congratulations. You're the one-millionth Dota 2 player to make me fall asleep.
  • r (whistling)
  • r (whistling)
  • r This game is like a donut filled with lava and diamonds. Boiling hot diamonds!
  • r Thanks for inviting me to commentate on the most boring game ever!
  • r Mrs. Flax just asked me if I ever intend to spend time with my family again. Answer is no.
  • r Stick the bloody kettle on, would you?

Purchasing specific items

25% chance

  • Armlet of Mordiggian (2475) r You got the omlette!
  • Armlet of Mordiggian (2475) r You got the omlette!
  • Armlet of Mordiggian (2475) r Armlet of Mordigigigigian!
  • Armlet of Mordiggian (2475) r Armlet of Mordigigiagugun!
  • Armlet of Mordiggian (2475) r Armlet of Mordigiagan.
  • Aghanim's Scepter (4200) r Aghanim's skepter.
  • Aghanim's Scepter (4200) r Aghanim's scepter. There's almost certainly something else you should've bought.
  • Skull Basher (2950) r Bash some skulls!
  • Battle Fury (4180) r Battlefury.
  • Black King Bar (4050) r Black king bar.
  • Black King Bar (4050) r Ah black king bar!
  • Blade Mail (2050) r Blade mail.
  • Blink Dagger (2250) r Blinku dagger!
  • Blink Dagger (2250) r Blink dagger.
  • Blink Dagger (2250) r Noice blink dagger.
  • Bloodstone (5250) r Bloodstooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone.
  • Butterfly (5275) r Has to be the most terrifying butterfly ever.
  • Daedalus (5150) r Daedaladlus. Daeladelus.
  • Dagon (2650) r Dagon'it!
  • Dagon (2650) r Dagoon!
  • Dagon (2650) r Dagon.
  • Divine Rapier (6000) r Divine Rapier. Lord have mercy.
  • Divine Rapier (6000) r Rapier throw incoming!
  • Drum of Endurance (1475) r Drum of endurance. Now with electrolytes!
  • Eaglesong (3000) r Eaglesong!
  • Ethereal Blade (4500) r Ethereal blade!
  • Ethereal Blade (4500) r E-blade!
  • Eul's Scepter of Divinity (2725) r Eul's scepter of spinerocity.
  • Force Staff (2175) r Nobody's forcing you. Heh heh heh.
  • Heart of Tarrasque (5400) r Heart of Terrasque.
  • Heaven's Halberd (3850) r Heaven's Halberd!
  • Helm of the Dominator (2350) r Helm of the Demominiminator.
  • Helm of the Dominator (2350) r Helm of the lowest common denominator.
  • Hood of Defiance (1750) r Hoodie of defiance.
  • Gem of True Sight (900) r Take that, you invisible swine!
  • Manta Style (4600) r Mm manta style.
  • Manta Style (4600) r Your manta style is strong. But it is no match for my dragon style.
  • Mjollnir (5600) r Mjollininer.
  • Mjollnir (5600) r Mjoeoew.
  • Mjollnir (5600) r Mjeoneer.
  • Monkey King Bar (4850) r A monkey walks into a bar and, and the bartender says Why the long face? um…
  • Mask of Madness (1775) r Mask of madness!
  • Mask of Madness (1775) r If you buy Mask of Madness, you are literally mad.
  • Mystic Staff (2700) r Ah! A mystic staff!
  • Necronomicon (2050) r Necronominina.
  • Necronomicon (2050) r Necrominomina. Necrominun. Necuclun. Necbook!
  • Orchid Malevolence (3475) r Orchid Malevolelence!
  • Perseverance (1650) r Peseverrence.
  • Pipe of Insight (3425) r Pipe! Of. Insight.
  • Poor Man's Shield r Poor Man's Shield? This thing costs a fortune!
  • Poor Man's Shield r Poor Man's Shield? Boy when I was young we couldn't afford any kind of shield. Had to make do with friend's face!
  • Poor Man's Shield r When I was young, we couldn't afford a shield. Had to make do with a friend's face.
  • Shadow Blade (3000) r Pub blade.
  • Radiance (5150) r Radiance!
  • Refresher Orb (5000) r These do not stack.
  • Rod of Atos (2750) r Rod of Atos. No healthcare for you.
  • Sange and Yasha (4100) r Sandwich and usual.
  • Sange and Yasha (4100) r Sandwich and pasta.
  • Eye of Skadi (5300) r Eye of Skadi.
  • Power Treads (1400) r Power shoes.
  • Power Treads (1400) r Shame you can't switch treads to 'do not suck'.
  • Power Treads (1400) r Mega shoes.
  • Vanguard (1925) r Vangward.
  • Vanguard (1925) r Vongward.
  • Veil of Discord (1525) r Veil of Discord, or as I call it: Christmas at my mother in law's! Ba-dombo-tsh!

20% chance

  • Assault Cuirass (5075) r Assault Crrrs.
  • Assault Cuirass (5075)Chainmail (550)Shiva's Guard (4850)Platemail (1400) r If in doubt, slap armour on it.

15% chance

  • Arcane Boots (1400) r Mana boots! Hell yeah!
  • Arcane Boots (1400) r Arcane boots. Now you can continue to waste mana in inefficient ways!
  • Bottle (625) r Here friend. Have a sip from my bottle.
  • Clarity (50) r A potion of clarity.
  • Clarity (50) r Clarity potion. I could seriously use a few of these right now.
  • Animal Courier (50) r What the hell is that thing?
  • Animal Courier (50) r Good luck little guy. You're gonna need it.
  • Animal Courier (50) r No mere donkey, this.
  • Flying Courier (150) r Could someone please upgrade the courier-oh! Thank you.
  • Flying Courier (150) r Congrats! Your courier can now fly to its death instead of just walk there.
  • Gauntlets of Strength (145) r Pff, heavy hands.
  • Mekansm (1975) r Mekansm. Ugh. I hate having to buy this boring, boring item.
  • Quelling Blade (130) r Quelling blade!
  • Quelling Blade (130) r Queue-ling blade!
  • Tango (90) r Now you can eat trees. So useful!
  • Tango (90) r Tangos. Mm, delicious.
  • Tango (90) r Tangos. Use them wisely.
  • Tango (90) r Delicious tangos.

10% chance

  • Smoke of Deceit (50) r Smoke gank incoming!
  • Smoke of Deceit (50)Dust of Appearance (80)Sentry Ward (75) r Tryhards.
  • Smoke of Deceit (50)Dust of Appearance (80)Sentry Ward (75) r You know what you're doing!
  • Observer Ward (0) r Only me and Lich get excited about wards. I know that's pathetic.
  • Observer Ward (0) r I love wards almost as much as Lich does.
  • Observer Ward (0) r Wards. Now you have no excuse for getting ganked.
  • Band of Elvenskin (450) r Band of Elvenskin? Literally? That's barbaric!
  • Dust of Appearance (80) r Dusty springfield!
  • Dust of Appearance (80)Sentry Ward (75) r Invisible swine!
  • Dust of Appearance (80)Sentry Ward (75) r Take that, you invisible swine!
  • Linken's Sphere (4600) r Linken's what?
  • Magic Stick (200) r Magic stick!
  • Magic Stick (200) r Uh if you like that magic stick, I have some magic beans for you.
  • Magic Stick (200) r Here, this stick is magic, I promise.
  • Slippers of Agility (145) r Slippers of Agility? Have you ever tried running in slippers?

5% chance

  • Healing Salve (110) r This salve cannot heal a broken heart.
  • Iron Branch (50) r Iron branches. Far, far more useful than they sound.
  • Town Portal Scroll (90) r There is no town. Just more bloody towers.

1% chance

  • Flying Courier (150) r About bloody time.

Unclassified

  • u What do we do with a drunken P-Flax early in the morning.
  • u Why isn't this courier upgraded you legendarily worthless bastard?!

Followups

Welcome
All Pick

  • r All pick.

25% chance

  • r All pick, thank God.

Least Played

  • r Least played!

25% chance

  • r Least played mode.
  • r Least played mode.

Limited Heroes

  • r Pick your hero!

Mid Only

  • r All mid!
  • r All mid.
  • r All mid!

Draft end

  • Pick your hero!
  • You may now select your hero.

Battle begins
50% chance

  • The eternal struggle betwixt creep and creep lumbers on.
  • Go on creeps! Hit those other creeps!
  • Boom! Welcome to Pyrion Flax's guide to being a Dota 2 announcer.

50% chance, when team consists of 5 carries

  • This team is the manliest team imaginable!

15% chance

  • Into the valley of death rode the five idiots.

First Blood
25% chance

  • I don't know if you're hacking or my game is bugged or something but seriously.
  • My three-year-old can do this.

Triple Kill, Rampage & Killing Spree
15% chance

  • r Now where did I put my grave-dancing shoes?

Godlike

  • r Before he knew it, nine men lay dead at his feet. Nine!
  • r Roll around in their insides. DO IT!

Structures fortified
10% chance, when enemy fortified

  • r Their tower's doing that woooo thing. Fortified!

Roshan killed
5% chance, when own team killed

  • r The Aegis-slash-Aajis-slash-Eejis of the immortal!

25% chance, third death and onward

  • r So l-let me get this straight: you walk into a man's house, you kill him, and you take his cheese. What's wrong with you?
  • r Congratulations on making a really sad story even sadder.
  • r He has cheese in his pockets?
  • r Cheese!
  • r Pure cheese.

1% chance, third death and onward

  • r Now I have an aegis. Ho ho ho.

Victory

  • u Congratulations. Here's the end screen.

50% chance, for winning team

  • Wow! Oh! I mean I--I didn't see that coming!
  • If it wasn't for my guides, this would not have been possible.
  • I'm glad we won.
  • (Incoherent cheering)
  • (Incoherent cheering)
  • Yay! We won! MVP goes to the guy with the longest name.
  • Woo hoo! We won! MVP goes to whoever died the most. Well done!

15% chance, for losing team

  • You lost. It was totally my fault. I'm really sorry.

Positive
30% chance

  • r If it was me, I'd need a new pair of pants.
  • r Are you serious?
  • r Are you serious?
  • r Hmm hm hm ho ho ho ha ha!
  • r Ha ha ha ha ha gold!
  • r Die große Mannen auf dem Campus.
  • r Noice!
  • r This is really remarkable Steve.
  • r Take that you bounders!

1% chance, enemy tower destroyed, players only

  • r Easy game, easy tower, easy life!
  • r Get that tower! Yes!

Negative
30% chance

  • r Wow, you make me look good. Thanks!
  • r A wizard should know better.
  • r Booo!
  • r Bro do you even lift?
  • r Bro do you even lift?
  • r If you're feeling faint that's okay. Just lie down, elevate the legs, and breathe into this paper bag.
  • r There is no ointment, cream, nor poultice to heal these wounds.
  • r Who did that? Who did that?

5% chance

  • r Is there any way back from this? No.
  • r Towers are being bulldozed, but for what? This is all meaningless!

1% chance, Dire tower destroyed, spectators only

  • r Bad dudes. Why didn't you buy TP scrolls? Seriously. Even I do that.

Negative ongoing
20% chance

  • r Ding dong!
  • r Can we pause please? I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
  • r Why is this so bloody difficult?
  • r We're detecting high levels of suckocity, captain.
  • r Ey yous guys doin' some great work fuggedaboutit.
  • r Ey fuggedaboutit.
  • r Oh man this is totally harshing my mellow.
  • r Guy guys guys. You need to defend here.