Pyrion Flax Announcer Pack

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Pyrion Flax Announcer Pack
Cosmetic icon Announcer Pyrion Flax.png
Bundle
Rarity: Mythical
Slot: Pack

This pack replaces the Default announcer and Mega-Kills announcer with the unique and unruly humor of Dota 2 satirist Pyrion Flax.
Created By
Valve logo.svg
Released
Origin

Contents

Welcome

50% chance, only for All Pick, Least Played, Limited Heroes and Mid Only

5% chance, only for the same modes as above

1% chance, only for the same modes as above

Game mode

All Pick

  • Play r All pick, thank God.
  • Play r All pick.

All Random

  • Play r All random? What the bloody hell is going on?
  • Play r All random? Why would you do such a thing?
  • Play r All random.

Captain's Draft

  • Play r Captain's draft? Yawn.
  • Play r Captain's draft.

Captain's Mode

  • Play r Tryhard meganerd mode.
  • Play r Captain's mode.

Deathmatch

  • Play r Deathmatch? Tell me this isn't literally a deathmatch.
  • Play r Deathmatch!

Easy Mode

  • Play u Easy mode! My favorite mode!

Least Played

  • Play r Least played!
  • Play r Least played mode.
  • Play r Least played mode.

Mid Only

Random Draft

  • Play r Random draft? Why didn't anyone tell me? Oh god.
  • Play r Random draft.

Reverse Captain's Mode

  • Play r Reverse captain's mode.
  • Play r Activate reverse captain's mode.
  • Play r Sniatpac mode!

Single Draft

  • Play r Single draft? In this modern age how is such cruelty permitted to exist?
  • Play r Single draft.

Other Modes
Limited Heroes, One vs One and other possible future game modes

  • Play r Pick your hero!

Drafting

Picking

  • Play Your turn to pick.
  • Play Enemy team's turn to pick!
  • Play Radiant team pick.
  • Play Dire team pick!

Banning

  • Play Ban a thing!
  • Play Your turn to ban.
  • Play Ban someone please!
  • Play Soon they will ban.
  • Play They're gonna ban someone.
  • Play Enemy's turn to ban.
  • Play Your opponents are banning.
  • Play Radiant team ban.
  • Play The green team's banning someone now.
  • Play Dire team ban.
  • Play Bad dudes banning someone now.

1% chance

  • Play Ban a dude. Ban Dark Seer, he's terrifying!

Time left to pick

  • Play u 10 Seconds idiot.
  • Play 5 seconds remaining.
  • Play Reserve time.
  • Play u You are using reserve time.
  • Play u Extra time.
  • Play u You are using extra time.

3% chance

  • Play Reserve time. It's not free, you know.

Draft end

  • Play u Our team is complete.
  • Play u Your team is complete.
  • Play u Radiant's team is complete.
  • Play u Dire's team is complete.
  • Play Well done, whoever did that. Let's just play Dota 2 now, geez. followup
  • Play Pick your hero!
  • Play You may now select your hero.

Picking specific heroes

30% chance

  • Play Ancient Apparition r Man, once people start calling you ancient, you know it's over.
  • Play Ancient Apparition r So Ancient Apparition is an apparition of an ancient apparition?
  • Play Alchemist r Two men enter, one man leaves.
  • Play Anti-Mage r Anti-fun!
  • Play Anti-Mage r Hands up if you hate Anti-Mage!
  • Play Axe r He hits you so hard you turn into a number!
  • Play Bane r This dude is bloody terrifying.
  • Play Batrider r Heh he he he fire! He he he!
  • Play Beastmaster r He's master of beasts and who does he get to help him? A bird and a pig. Whop-e-do!
  • Play Bloodseeker r Can he even see with that thing on?
  • Play Brewmaster r I hope he's got some cider on him.
  • Play Brewmaster r I reckon, and I'm going out on a limb here, but I reckon that this lad likes a drink.
  • Play Broodmother r Ahh! Bloody hell! Get a massive newspaper!
  • Play Invoker r Buttons buttons buttons!
  • Play Centaur Warrunner r The charge of the extremely heavy brigade.
  • Play Centaur Warrunner r Part man, part centaur.
  • Play Dark Seer r Long lost cousin of the coneheads.
  • Play Dark Seer r He's like a really bloody unpleasant hedgehog.
  • Play Dark Seer r Ahh! It's Dark Seer! Ahh!
  • Play Disruptor r Disruptor? I hardly knew her!
  • Play Disruptor r He's got a lizard, a huge beard, and he can harness electricity! He's the man!
  • Play Doom r Doommmmmm!
  • Play Doom r Doom!
  • Play Doom r Doom!
  • Play Doom r Hail Doombringer.
  • Play Dragon Knight r He's a dragon, a knight, and in his spare time he likes to bake.
  • Play Drow Ranger r The words Drow and Ranger together is like a nerd magnet.
  • Play Earthshaker r He's a big old lovable sloth bear thing.
  • Play Enigma r He's a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, boxed up and shoved in a crate and stored in a giant warehouse.
  • Play Gyrocopter r It's gyro, not geero. He's not a flying bloody kebab.
  • Play Gyrocopter r One of the few truly mustachioed heroes in the game.
  • Play Huskar r Huskar used to be called Buskar, but people don't give you spare change when you stab them in the neck with a flaming spear.
  • Play Jakiro r This dragon has two heads?
  • Play Jakiro r He's the bogof of the dragon world!
  • Play Jakiro r Buy one dragon, get another dragon glued on the side!
  • Play Jakiro r Buy one dragon, get another dragon melded on to the side! There's two dragons hrrr!
  • Play Juggernaut r Go on juggles!
  • Play Juggernaut r Behind that mask is a dude who is insanely dizzy!
  • Play Keeper of the Light r The trick with Kotl is you annoy the hell out of everybody!
  • Play Leshrac r A bloody great blue pony thing.
  • Play Lich r Hell yeah, it's Lich!
  • Play Lifestealer r You can't break those cuffs!
  • Play Lifestealer r I can break these cuffs!
  • Play Lifestealer r He looks like somebody reanimated a pizza.
  • Play Lina r Oh ho ho! Oh Lina. Oh ho!
  • Play Lina r She can light my fire. Because uh, she's a woman and she's got the fire and everything.
  • Play Lion r Give 'em the finger!
  • Play Lion r Here on the plains of the Serengeti we see the ugliest magician in the universe.
  • Play Lion r What happens if he tries to hex an actual frog?
  • Play Lone Druid r How can he be called Lone Druid when he has a bear for company?
  • Play Lycan r Beware the moon!
  • Play Lycan r Good doggie! Nice little pooch!
  • Play Meepo r More Meepos, more problems.
  • Play Meepo r Worst forty-five minutes of my life was playing as Meepo.
  • Play Morphling r He's composed of H2O molecules that bonded with molecules of pure, grade-A bullpoop to form this monstrosity.
  • Play Morphling r County's biggest, dampest, most unpleasant bumhead.
  • Play Naga Siren r Naga siren. Sound the BS alarm. Aauuuuooonnn.
  • Play Nature's Prophet r More like Nature's Profit! Am I right? Prophet. Proph-prophet yeah it works better on paper.
  • Play Necrophos u Necrolyte! The diet version of Necro.
  • Play Night Stalker r He works nights. Give the man a break.
  • Play Night Stalker r It's night dude!
  • Play Nyx Assassin r This guy is trying way too hard to be Sand King.
  • Play Phantom Lancer r Oh my God. I have literally no idea what to do against this guy.
  • Play Phantom Lancer r He looks like a really angry cat, but he has nothing to complain about.
  • Play Phantom Lancer r A phantom lancer is worse than a phantom fart, let me tell ya.
  • Play Pudge r He's a cockney. No I don't care what you think. Pudge is a cockney.
  • Play Bristleback r Cor blimey gov!
  • Play Queen of Pain r Her sister is Queen of Pine, and works for a large, Swedish furniture retailer.
  • Play Queen of Pain r So hot. And so scary.
  • Play Razor r Oh he's an electric razor. I finally get it!
  • Play Riki r Hardest hero to draw, bar none.
  • Play Rubick r Multiply that by a Rubick.
  • Play Sand King r Harnesses the awesome power of s-sand.
  • Play Clinkz r He's a bloody skeleton!
  • Play Skeleton King u He's got a bone motorcycle, he plays the trom-bone, he's got a bone phone, he's got it all!
  • Play Slardar r Something smells a bit mm-fishy.
  • Play Slardar r Slarduuuuur.
  • Play Slark r Aw, a detestable little man.
  • Play Slark r Slarkasm is the lowest form of wit.
  • Play Slark r He's Meepo's brother. Just look at him.
  • Play Sniper r Sniper is awesome. At kill-stealing.
  • Play Spirit Breaker r Mmmmmove over!
  • Play Storm Spirit r Storm Spirit! Ha ha ha!
  • Play Sven r How can Sven inspire his allies when he's just like *mumbling sounds*?
  • Play Templar Assassin r What kind of temple has an assassin?
  • Play Tiny r Rock beats scissors!
  • Play Tiny r He's a living misnomer!
  • Play Undying r Undying!
  • Play Undying r Who died and made you king of the zombies?
  • Play Ursa r He's a bear!
  • Play Ursa r Ursa is responsible for a lot of pants-soiling in my house.
  • Play Venomancer r He doesn't need wards. He poops wards.
  • Play Venomancer r Is it ve-no, or vee-no?
  • Play Viper r See now this guy's easy. It's just q q q q q.
  • Play Visage r Visaaaage. Sounds like an 80s band.
  • Play Warlock r Great. Now we're all going to die.
  • Play Io r Wisp looks like an alien that would totally kill a red shirt in an episode of Star Trek and be like my people do not comprehend death woooooo!

25% chance

  • Play KunkkaLone DruidAnti-MageDeath ProphetEmber SpiritInvokerLionEnigmaRubick r Ah! Popped collar! Pro player alarm sounded!
  • Play AxeBeastmasterCentaur WarrunnerKunkkaSpirit BreakerAnti-MageElder TitanMagnusPudge r Yes! More beef! More beef!
  • Play AlchemistAxeBeastmasterCentaur WarrunnerDark SeerDisruptorEarthshakerNature's ProphetKeeper of the LightKunkkaLeshracLone DruidNecrophosOmniknightSniperSpirit BreakerStorm SpiritTinkerTinyTreant ProtectorTusk r Hmm hm! Bearded!
  • Play AlchemistAxeBeastmasterCentaur WarrunnerDark SeerDisruptorEarthshakerNature's ProphetKeeper of the LightKunkkaLeshracLone DruidNecrophosOmniknightSniperSpirit BreakerStorm SpiritTinkerTinyTreant ProtectorTusk r Ah! Nice beard!

15% chance

  • Play Weaver r You Sneaky, unpleasant son of a bitch.

Beginning battle

Entering battle

  • Play Prepare for battle!
  • Play Prepare for battle.
  • Play Prepare for battle!
  • Play Prepare for battle!
  • Play Oh my god it's almost time!

Time before battle
30 seconds

  • Play Just enough time to make a cup of tea.
  • Play Thirty seconds!

10 seconds

  • Play Why does it have to count down like this? I'm nervous enough as it is!
  • Play Ten seconds to battle.

Battle begins

Kills

First Blood

  • Play Rambo style. First blood!
  • Play If you want a war you've got. First blood!
  • Play First blood! followup

Spectator only

  • Play First blood! And I didn't miss it!

Double Kill

  • Play That's a twofer!

15% chance, player only

  • Play r You've got a double-kill! (harmonica)

1% chance, player only

  • Play r (While playing xylophone) They will sing a song about how awesome you were today because you have given them a thrill, because you've got a double kill!

Triple Kill

Ultra Kill

  • Play Oh boosh booshidie boosh-boosh!

Rampage

  • Play By the legend of Hall and Oates, did you see that? followup

Killing Spree

Dominating

  • Play Bibble bibble bibble.
  • Play Bibble bibble bibble.

15% chance, player only

  • Play You just got drafted by Pwn State!

Mega Kill

15% chance, player only

  • Play You just killed a boy band's worth of enemies.

Unstoppable

  • Play Oh the humanity!

Wicked Sick

  • Play Nerf this man!

Monster Kill

  • Play Prophecy is true. He is the chosen one!

Godlike

Holy Shit

  • Play My god. It's full of stars!

Ownage

20% chance

15% chance

  • Play r The square root of the own zone!

Non-streak related
5% chance, any player death

  • Play r Boosh!
  • Play r Boosh!
  • Play r Boosh!
  • Play r Boosh!
  • Play r Boosh!
  • Play r Skadoosh!
  • Play u Boosh! Boosh! Boosh!
  • Play u Oh boosh booshidie boosh-boosh!
  • Play Morphling r Aqua-boosh!
  • Play Morphling r We gotta take steps.
  • Play u You're an anchor for this team!

Team Wipe
Your team
15% chance

  • Play r Number one on Fails of the Week, guaranteed!
  • Play r Toughen up!
  • Play r Toughen up!
  • Play r Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why?
  • Play r What the hell is going on?

5% chance

  • Play r Well done man! Now we can all respawn together and hold hands and sing songs around the freaking campfire about what an idiot you are.

Enemy team
50% chance

  • Play r Oh man that teamfight had more booshes than a boosh salad!
  • Play r Booshes galore!
  • Play r Does anybody else need a new pair of underpants.
  • Play r That play just made it into the Grand Pantheon of Dota 2 plays. But it is a very, very big pantheon.
  • Play r What are we playing for here?
  • Play r Bibble bibble bibble.
  • Play r We got this man. We got this by the ass.
  • Play r This is one of those games I wish was in slow-mo because my brain just melted.
  • Play r Okay, someone explain what happened because I have literally no idea.

Team announcements

Your Radiant Dire Enemy
Courier
killed
  • Play They killed the courier! Your courier is dead.
  • Play They killed your courier!
  • Play u They killed the courier!
  • Play Radiant's courier has been killed!
  • Play Oh Radiant's courier is dead!
  • Play Radiant's courier is dead!
  • Play Dire's courier has been killed!
  • Play Dire's courier is dead.
Roshan
killed
  • Play Roshan has fallen to the Radiant. followup
  • Play Rosh is just a chill dude, so someone explain to me why Radiant had to go and kill him?
  • Play Radiant killed Roshan! What's radiant about that?
  • Play Roshan has fallen to the Dire! followup
  • Play Hey uh someone check Rosh. Maybe they're doing Rosh. Wait, Dire did Rosh.
Structure
under attack

Top tower

25% chance

  • Play 30 Uh excuse me sir, but it's your top tower. It says it's being destroyed.

1% chance

  • Play r That top tower of yours ain lookin--no, wait, sorry, no, wrong announcer pack.

Middle tower

25% chance

  • Play 30 Ah, pardon the interruption sir but it's phonecall from your middle tower. It says it's being destroyed.

Bottom tower

Top barracks

Middle barracks

  • Play 10 Your middle barracks are under attack. followup
  • Play 10 Oh lord. Not the middle barracks! Not old middly!

Bottom barracks

  • Play 10 Your bottom barracks are under attack. followup
  • Play 10 Mind out chaps. Bottom barracks is getting piddled on.
  • Play 10 Cor blimey gov. Not me bottom rax!

The Ancient

Top tower

  • Play 10 Radiant's top tower is under attack! followup
  • Play 30 Green dude's top thing is about to get knocked over.

Middle tower

Bottom tower

  • Play 20 You green dudes: something bad is happening. In your bottom.

Top barracks

  • Play 10 Radiant's top barracks are under attack.

10% chance

  • Play r Good guys top rax is going to be covered in winner's poop soon enough.

Middle barracks

  • Play 10 Radiant's middle barracks are under attack.
  • Play u Middle rax. That's gg bro. G bloody G.

Bottom barracks

  • Play 10 Radiant's bottom barracks are under attack.

10% chance

  • Play r Bottom rax gonna give it to ya! Not anymore. It's being pooped on.

The Ancient

  • Play 10 Radiant's ancient is under attack! followup
  • Play 10 Radiant's ancient is getting killed!

Top tower

  • Play 30 Bad dude's top tower gonna fall over soon!
  • Play 10 Dire's top tower is under attack. followup

Middle tower

  • Play 30 Bad dudes. Middle tower! Everyone go! Now!
  • Play 10 Dire's middle tower is under attack. followup

Bottom tower

Top barracks

  • Play 10 Dire's top barracks are under attack.
  • Play 10 Bad dude's top rax is getting minced!

Middle barracks

  • Play 10 Dire's middle barracks are under attack.
  • Play 10 Going from bad to worse. Now the bad dudes' middle rax is getting shafted.

Bottom barracks

  • Play 10 Dire's bottom barracks are under attack.

The Ancient

  • Play 10 Dire's ancient is under attack! followup
  • Play 10 Dire's ancient needs rescuing!
  • Play 10 The evil dudes' base is getting owned.
Structure
fallen

Top tower

  • Play 10 Your top tower has fallen. followup
  • Play 10 Remember that top tower you liked so much? Mmwa! Kiss it goodbye!

Middle tower

  • Play 10 Your middle tower has fallen. followup
  • Play 10 Middle tower. Take it off your Christmas card list. It's gone!

Bottom tower

  • Play 10 Your bottom tower has fallen. followup
  • Play 10 Bottom tower go bye-bye.

Top barracks

Middle barracks

  • Play 10 Your middle barracks has fallen. followup
  • Play 10 Uh hello? We needed that middle rax.

Bottom barracks

  • Play 10 Your bottom barracks has fallen. followup
  • Play 10 Pff. Bottom rax. Who needs it?

Top tower

  • Play 10 Radiant's top tower has fallen.
  • Play 10 Green dude's tower got owned, son!

Middle tower

  • Play 10 Radiant's middle tower has fallen.
  • Play 10 Uh yo good guys. Middle tower got owned. What'cha gonna do? Get mad, or get even?

Bottom tower

  • Play 10 Radiant's bottom tower has fallen.
  • Play 10 Good dude's bottom just fell off.

Top barracks

  • Play 10 Radiant's top barracks has fallen.

10% chance

  • Play r Ah this just in, can now confirm: poop now all over good guy's top rax.

Middle barracks

  • Play 10 Radiant's middle barracks has fallen.
  • Play 10 Okay that really is gg. Good guy's middle rax is in pieces.

Bottom barracks

  • Play 10 Radiant's bottom barracks has fallen.
  • Play 10 Bottom rax gone. Turns out Radiant did need it.

Top tower

  • Play 10 Dire's top tower has fallen.
  • Play 10 Bad dude's top is all nasty and broke-y!

Middle tower

  • Play 10 Dire's middle tower has fallen.
  • Play 10 Ruh roh! Bad dudes. Ruh roh! Middly-widdly gone all diddly!

Bottom tower

  • Play 10 That bottom tower you bad dudes had was crap anyway. Don’t sweat it.
  • Play 10 Dire's bottom tower has fallen.

Top barracks

  • Play 10 Dire's top barracks has fallen.
  • Play 10 Bad dude's rax is now officially burger meat.

Middle barracks

  • Play 10 Dire's middle barracks has fallen.
  • Play 10 Ey bad dudes. Your middle rax is like uh chopped liver. Fuggeddaboutit.

Bottom barracks

  • Play 10 Dire's bottom barracks has fallen.

Top tower

  • Play 10 The enemy's top tower has fallen. followup
  • Play 10 Hell yeah! Their top tower got boned.

Middle tower

Bottom tower

  • Play 10 The enemy's bottom tower has fallen! followup
  • Play 10 Those sods. We got their bottom tower. Rock on, Tommy!

Top barracks

  • Play 10 The enemy's top barracks has fallen.
  • Play 10 Oh flippin' nora we got their top rax!

Middle barracks

Bottom barracks

  • Play 10 The enemy's bottom barracks has fallen. followup
  • Play 10 Their bottom rax has been fired into the sun with a giant catapult.
Structure
denied

Top tower

  • Play 10 Your top tower has been denied. followup
  • Play 10 I think it's shift and A to deny things. Pretty sure. Top tower denied anyway.

Middle tower

  • Play 10 Your middle tower has been denied. followup
  • Play 10 How did you do that? You denied that tower man! That was so pro!

Bottom tower

  • Play 10 Your bottom tower has been denied. followup
  • Play 10 Wow. Denied. I'm surprised.

Top tower

  • Play 10 Radiant's top tower has been denied.
  • Play 10 Good guy's top tower is denied. Whop-e-do!

Middle tower

  • Play 10 Radiant's middle tower has been denied.
  • Play 10 Good guys middle tower got denied. Somebody did that. That's such a pro move.

Bottom tower

  • Play 10 Radiant's bottom tower has been denied.
  • Play 10 Good guys bottom tower has been denied. Good luck upgrading the donkey now.

Top tower

  • Play 10 Dire's top tower has been denied.
  • Play 10 Bad dudes did something really evil, and owned their own top tower!

Middle tower

  • Play 10 Dire's middle tower has been denied.

Bottom tower

  • Play 10 Bottom tower denied for those evil bastards. Oh they make me so mad. Mmm!

Top tower

  • Play 10 The enemy's top tower has been denied. followup
  • Play 10 Their top tower fell over. Oh wait, they did it.

Middle tower

  • Play 10 The enemy's middle tower has been denied. followup
  • Play 10 Oh man, middle tower denied. How can I afford wards now?

Bottom tower

  • Play 10 The enemy's bottom tower has been denied. followup
  • Play 10 They denied their bottom tower. Can we still be friends.
Structures
fortified
Megacreeps
  • Play Megecreeps. Aw! Those guys are awesome!
  • Play We now have megacreeps. followup
  • Play We have megacreeps. We win!
  • Play u You now have megacreeps.
  • Play The Radiant now have megacreeps.
  • Play Good guys gonna win. Megacreeps riding to the rescue.
  • Play The Dire now have megacreeps.
  • Play Bad guy have megacreeps. Bad guy have megacreeps. Bad guys have megacreeps all up in your grill.
  • Play They have megacreeps. Just go hide in the fountain. It's cool, everybodydoes it.
  • Play The megacreeps will kill you. Megacreeps will kill you. Megacreeps will kill you.
  • Play The enemy now has megacreeps. followup
Victory

15% chance, Radiant team

  • Play Oh Radiant won! I could kiss you!

15% chance, Dire team

  • Play Well done Dire. I will personally shake all of your hands.
  • Play Good guys win! How tremendous!
  • Play Radiant victory! followup
  • Play Victoire! Victoire! Vive le Radiant!

15% chance

  • Play Whoa. The good guys won. That literally never happens.
  • Play The Dire dudes won and now that's it, everything is over.
  • Play Dire victory! followup

15% chance, Radiant team

  • Play Oh goody goody gumdrops. The land of faeries and little kittens won. Vomit.

15% chance, Dire team

  • Play Are you happy now, bad dudes? Huh? Oh you, you are? Okay, good! Good for you!

Respawning

5% chance

  • Play r If you do that again, your teammates are going to shout at you, and you will cry.
  • Play r Why aren't you getting this?
  • Play r Uh, being bad is a choice.
  • Play r Stop being aggressively terrible.
  • Play Batrider r Man this Batrider is awesome. He hasn't touched the ground once since the match started!
  • Play Axe r Axe goes to base to respawn.
  • Play Axe r Good day sir!
  • Play Doom r You should steal the power of not sucking.
  • Play Pudge r Pudge, let's not sugarcoat it, this man is a food singularity!
  • Play Spirit Breaker r Spirit Breaker is not amoooosed.

Lane missing

  • Play u Your top is missing.
  • Play u Missing top!
  • Play u Missing top!
  • Play u Missing middle!
  • Play u Middle is missing!
  • Play u Missing middle!
  • Play u Your bottom is missing.
  • Play u Your bottom is missing.
  • Play u Where's your bottom? It's missing!

Periods with no action

15% chance, any time

  • Play u I may need to alt+tab from time to time to find out how this all works.
  • Play r It could go one way, or the other, which is to say: I have no idea what the hell is going on.
  • Play r How's the weather there? Eh? Raining here. Yeah. Rubbish isn't it. Oh well.
  • Play r Let me just set my alarm here. Wake me up when people start playing Dota.

15% chance, mid game and onward

  • Play r Ah to be young again.
  • Play r I wish to God I could be even one-tenth as good as these guys.
  • Play r Somebody take over please. I need to make a cup of tea.
  • Play r Once upon a time, there was a game of Dota 2. And nothing happened at all.
  • Play r Congratulations. You're the one-millionth Dota 2 player to make me fall asleep.
  • Play r (whistling)
  • Play r (whistling)
  • Play r This game is like a donut filled with lava and diamonds. Boiling hot diamonds!
  • Play r Thanks for inviting me to commentate on the most boring game ever!
  • Play r Mrs. Flax just asked me if I ever intend to spend time with my family again. Answer is no.
  • Play r Stick the bloody kettle on, would you?

Purchasing specific items

25% chance

  • Play Armlet of Mordiggian (2370) r You got the omlette!
  • Play Armlet of Mordiggian (2370) r You got the omlette!
  • Play Armlet of Mordiggian (2370) r Armlet of Mordigigigigian!
  • Play Armlet of Mordiggian (2370) r Armlet of Mordigigiagugun!
  • Play Armlet of Mordiggian (2370) r Armlet of Mordigiagan.
  • Play Aghanim's Scepter (4200) r Aghanim's skepter.
  • Play Aghanim's Scepter (4200) r Aghanim's scepter. There's almost certainly something else you should've bought.
  • Play Skull Basher (3200) r Bash some skulls!
  • Play Battle Fury (4400) r Battlefury.
  • Play Black King Bar (3975) r Black king bar.
  • Play Black King Bar (3975) r Ah black king bar!
  • Play Blade Mail (2200) r Blade mail.
  • Play Blink Dagger (2250) r Blinku dagger!
  • Play Blink Dagger (2250) r Blink dagger.
  • Play Blink Dagger (2250) r Noice blink dagger.
  • Play Bloodstone (4900) r Bloodstooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooone.
  • Play Butterfly (5525) r Has to be the most terrifying butterfly ever.
  • Play Daedalus (5320) r Daedaladlus. Daeladelus.
  • Play Dagon (2715) r Dagon'it!
  • Play Dagon (2715) r Dagoon!
  • Play Dagon (2715) r Dagon.
  • Play Divine Rapier (6000) r Divine Rapier. Lord have mercy.
  • Play Divine Rapier (6000) r Rapier throw incoming!
  • Play Drum of Endurance (1615) r Drum of endurance. Now with electrolytes!
  • Play Eaglesong (3200) r Eaglesong!
  • Play Ethereal Blade (4700) r Ethereal blade!
  • Play Ethereal Blade (4700) r E-blade!
  • Play Eul's Scepter of Divinity (2750) r Eul's scepter of spinerocity.
  • Play Force Staff (2250) r Nobody's forcing you. Heh heh heh.
  • Play Heart of Tarrasque (5200) r Heart of Terrasque.
  • Play Heaven's Halberd (3600) r Heaven's Halberd!
  • Play Helm of the Dominator (2000) r Helm of the Demominiminator.
  • Play Helm of the Dominator (2000) r Helm of the lowest common denominator.
  • Play Hood of Defiance (1700) r Hoodie of defiance.
  • Play Gem of True Sight (900) r Take that, you invisible swine!
  • Play Manta Style (4800) r Mm manta style.
  • Play Manta Style (4800) r Your manta style is strong. But it is no match for my dragon style.
  • Play Mjollnir (5600) r Mjollininer.
  • Play Mjollnir (5600) r Mjoeoew.
  • Play Mjollnir (5600) r Mjeoneer.
  • Play Monkey King Bar (4175) r A monkey walks into a bar and, and the bartender says Why the long face? um…
  • Play Mask of Madness (1975) r Mask of madness!
  • Play Mask of Madness (1975) r If you buy Mask of Madness, you are literally mad.
  • Play Mystic Staff (2700) r Ah! A mystic staff!
  • Play Necronomicon (2400) r Necronominina.
  • Play Necronomicon (2400) r Necrominomina. Necrominun. Necuclun. Necbook!
  • Play Orchid Malevolence (4075) r Orchid Malevolelence!
  • Play Perseverance (1700) r Peseverrence.
  • Play Pipe of Insight (3150) r Pipe! Of. Insight.
  • Play Poor Man's Shield (500) r Poor Man's Shield? This thing costs a fortune!
  • Play Poor Man's Shield (500) r Poor Man's Shield? Boy when I was young we couldn't afford any kind of shield. Had to make do with friend's face!
  • Play Poor Man's Shield (500) r When I was young, we couldn't afford a shield. Had to make do with a friend's face.
  • Play Shadow Blade (2700) r Pub blade.
  • Play Radiance (5150) r Radiance!
  • Play Refresher Orb (5200) r These do not stack.
  • Play Rod of Atos (3030) r Rod of Atos. No healthcare for you.
  • Play Sange and Yasha (4300) r Sandwich and usual.
  • Play Sange and Yasha (4300) r Sandwich and pasta.
  • Play Eye of Skadi (5500) r Eye of Skadi.
  • Play Power Treads (1450) r Power shoes.
  • Play Power Treads (1450) r Shame you can't switch treads to 'do not suck'.
  • Play Power Treads (1450) r Mega shoes.
  • Play Vanguard (2150) r Vangward.
  • Play Vanguard (2150) r Vongward.
  • Play Veil of Discord (2330) r Veil of Discord, or as I call it: Christmas at my mother in law's! Ba-dombo-tsh!

20% chance

  • Play Assault Cuirass (5250) r Assault Crrrs.
  • Play Assault Cuirass (5250)Chainmail (550)Shiva's Guard (4750)Platemail (1400) r If in doubt, slap armour on it.

15% chance

  • Play Arcane Boots (1400) r Mana boots! Hell yeah!
  • Play Arcane Boots (1400) r Arcane boots. Now you can continue to waste mana in inefficient ways!
  • Play Bottle (650) r Here friend. Have a sip from my bottle.
  • Play Clarity (50) r A potion of clarity.
  • Play Clarity (50) r Clarity potion. I could seriously use a few of these right now.
  • Play Animal Courier (50) r What the hell is that thing?
  • Play Animal Courier (50) r Good luck little guy. You're gonna need it.
  • Play Animal Courier (50) r No mere donkey, this.
  • Play Flying Courier (150) r Could someone please upgrade the courier-oh! Thank you.
  • Play Flying Courier (150) r Congrats! Your courier can now fly to its death instead of just walk there.
  • Play Gauntlets of Strength (135) r Pff, heavy hands.
  • Play Mekansm (2350) r Mekansm. Ugh. I hate having to buy this boring, boring item.
  • Play Quelling Blade (200) r Quelling blade!
  • Play Quelling Blade (200) r Queue-ling blade!
  • Play Tango (90) r Now you can eat trees. So useful!
  • Play Tango (90) r Tangos. Mm, delicious.
  • Play Tango (90) r Tangos. Use them wisely.
  • Play Tango (90) r Delicious tangos.

10% chance

  • Play Smoke of Deceit (80) r Smoke gank incoming!
  • Play Smoke of Deceit (80)Dust of Appearance (180)Sentry Ward (100) r Tryhards.
  • Play Smoke of Deceit (80)Dust of Appearance (180)Sentry Ward (100) r You know what you're doing!
  • Play Observer Ward (75) r Only me and Lich get excited about wards. I know that's pathetic.
  • Play Observer Ward (75) r I love wards almost as much as Lich does.
  • Play Observer Ward (75) r Wards. Now you have no excuse for getting ganked.
  • Play Band of Elvenskin (450) r Band of Elvenskin? Literally? That's barbaric!
  • Play Dust of Appearance (180) r Dusty springfield!
  • Play Dust of Appearance (180)Sentry Ward (100) r Invisible swine!
  • Play Dust of Appearance (180)Sentry Ward (100) r Take that, you invisible swine!
  • Play Linken's Sphere (5050) r Linken's what?
  • Play Magic Stick (200) r Magic stick!
  • Play Magic Stick (200) r Uh if you like that magic stick, I have some magic beans for you.
  • Play Magic Stick (200) r Here, this stick is magic, I promise.
  • Play Slippers of Agility (135) r Slippers of Agility? Have you ever tried running in slippers?

5% chance

  • Play Healing Salve (110) r This salve cannot heal a broken heart.
  • Play Iron Branch (50) r Iron branches. Far, far more useful than they sound.
  • Play Town Portal Scroll (50) r There is no town. Just more bloody towers.

1% chance

  • Play Flying Courier (150) r About bloody time.

Unclassified

  • Play u What do we do with a drunken P-Flax early in the morning.
  • Play u Why isn't this courier upgraded you legendarily worthless bastard?!

Followups

Welcome
All Pick

25% chance

  • Play r All pick, thank God.

Least Played

  • Play r Least played!

25% chance

  • Play r Least played mode.
  • Play r Least played mode.

Limited Heroes

  • Play r Pick your hero!

Mid Only

Draft end

  • Play Pick your hero!
  • Play You may now select your hero.

Battle begins
50% chance

  • Play The eternal struggle betwixt creep and creep lumbers on.
  • Play Go on creeps! Hit those other creeps!
  • Play Boom! Welcome to Pyrion Flax's guide to being a Dota 2 announcer.

50% chance, when team consists of 5 carries

  • Play This team is the manliest team imaginable!

15% chance

  • Play Into the valley of death rode the five idiots.

First Blood
25% chance

  • Play I don't know if you're hacking or my game is bugged or something but seriously.
  • Play My three-year-old can do this.

Triple Kill, Rampage & Killing Spree
15% chance

  • Play r Now where did I put my grave-dancing shoes?

Godlike

  • Play r Before he knew it, nine men lay dead at his feet. Nine!
  • Play r Roll around in their insides. DO IT!

Structures fortified
10% chance, when enemy fortified

  • Play r Their tower's doing that woooo thing. Fortified!

Roshan killed
5% chance, when own team killed

  • Play r The Aegis-slash-Aajis-slash-Eejis of the immortal!

25% chance, third death and onward

  • Play r So l-let me get this straight: you walk into a man's house, you kill him, and you take his cheese. What's wrong with you?
  • Play r Congratulations on making a really sad story even sadder.
  • Play r He has cheese in his pockets?
  • Play r Cheese!
  • Play r Pure cheese.

1% chance, third death and onward

  • Play r Now I have an aegis. Ho ho ho.

Victory

  • Play u Congratulations. Here's the end screen.

50% chance, for winning team

  • Play Wow! Oh! I mean I--I didn't see that coming!
  • Play If it wasn't for my guides, this would not have been possible.
  • Play I'm glad we won.
  • Play (Incoherent cheering)
  • Play (Incoherent cheering)
  • Play Yay! We won! MVP goes to the guy with the longest name.
  • Play Woo hoo! We won! MVP goes to whoever died the most. Well done!

15% chance, for losing team

  • Play You lost. It was totally my fault. I'm really sorry.

Positive
30% chance

  • Play r If it was me, I'd need a new pair of pants.
  • Play r Are you serious?
  • Play r Are you serious?
  • Play r Hmm hm hm ho ho ho ha ha!
  • Play r Ha ha ha ha ha gold!
  • Play r Die große Mannen auf dem Campus.
  • Play r Noice!
  • Play r This is really remarkable Steve.
  • Play r Take that you bounders!

1% chance, enemy tower destroyed, players only

  • Play r Easy game, easy tower, easy life!
  • Play r Get that tower! Yes!

Negative
30% chance

  • Play r Wow, you make me look good. Thanks!
  • Play r A wizard should know better.
  • Play r Booo!
  • Play r Bro do you even lift?
  • Play r Bro do you even lift?
  • Play r If you're feeling faint that's okay. Just lie down, elevate the legs, and breathe into this paper bag.
  • Play r There is no ointment, cream, nor poultice to heal these wounds.
  • Play r Who did that? Who did that?

5% chance

  • Play r Is there any way back from this? No.
  • Play r Towers are being bulldozed, but for what? This is all meaningless!

1% chance, Dire tower destroyed, spectators only

  • Play r Bad dudes. Why didn't you buy TP scrolls? Seriously. Even I do that.

Negative ongoing
20% chance

  • Play r Ding dong!
  • Play r Can we pause please? I'm terrified beyond the capacity for rational thought.
  • Play r Why is this so bloody difficult?
  • Play r We're detecting high levels of suckocity, captain.
  • Play r Ey yous guys doin' some great work fuggedaboutit.
  • Play r Ey fuggedaboutit.
  • Play r Oh man this is totally harshing my mellow.
  • Play r Guy guys guys. You need to defend here.
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