Aghanim's Labyrinth/Announcer

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Announcer lines
 

Hero selection

  • ▶️ Who will it be?
  • ▶️ Which heroes have mustered the courage to enter?
  • ▶️ Who dares be courageous in the face of certain misery?
  • ▶️ Who's got the gravy to enter Aghanim's deadly realm of mystery?
  • ▶️ Who will make Aghanim as proud as a new father?

Aghanim's Trial

  • ▶️ Welcome to Aghanim the Timely's gauntlet of efficiency.

Selecting hero

4th pick

25% chance

  • ▶️ Magnus minimap icon.png Magnus the magnificent magnelofagus!
  • ▶️ Snapfire minimap icon.png Beatrix, the times we used to have! Such good times.

Has new players

Match start

Ascension 0

Ascension 0, has new players

  • ▶️ But here's something your stupid teachers didn't tell you. Aghanim has sought out the deadliest creatures from the darkest dimensions, and has brought them here, to test the mettle of the mightiest among you! Let's begin.

Ascension 1

  • ▶️ Look at me, I'm a big strong hero who waddled his way through Aghanim's easiest trial, and I have returned for a zestier offering. followup
  • ▶️ This time my menagerie will not be as cuddly. followup
  • ▶️ You're back! How brave, how foolish. The word doesn't exist to describe you. Bravool. That will do it. followup

Ascension 2

  • ▶️ You dare see what deadlier forms emerge from Aghanim's portals? Then step right up and channel yourself a serving of certain death! followup
  • ▶️ Your back! Your front, your arms, look at those lats, but alas there is something I must reveal. Aghanim the No-Days-Off also lifts, so...

Ascension 3

  • ▶️ You have returned! Perhaps you seek a bolder challenge. Aghanim the Accomodating will make it so! followup
  • ▶️ Oh ho ho, so you seek Aghanim's deadliest challenge. But why? Ah ha, you must be stupid. You're probably stupid, that must be it, I was confused for a second there but nope, that was it. You are stupid. Good luck, dumdum.
  • ▶️ We've sorted the wheat from the chaff and we're left with heroes worthy enough of the deadliest creatures across dimensions! Aghanim the Pleased is pleased. Let's begin.

Aghanim's Trial

  • ▶️ You've killed before, you'll kill again. But this time, you've gotta go fast.
  • ▶️ It's a time trial! That's right, we're putting time on trial. Get moving! Time, take the stand!
  • ▶️ It's a time trial! Go! I'm not even going to waste time explaining it. You're on the clock, go!

Choosing rooms

Normal room

  • ▶️ r Brace yourselves for more.
  • ▶️ r Sharpen your blades, prepare your incantations, keep a firm and wide stance!
  • ▶️ r Oh, you'll love these guys. Aghanim has lost his manifest, so he can't quite remember what or whom you'll be encountering so, prepare for the worst. Or the best, whichever.
  • ▶️ r Through multiple dimensions, the most stalwart of enemies I've encountered were the thoughts in my own head. Are you prepared to face your own demons? It has little bearing on the next encounter, I'm just... inquiring.
  • ▶️ r Press on!
  • ▶️ r Knuckle down!
  • ▶️ r Uuh I love these guys!
  • ▶️ r Here we go!
  • ▶️ r Cover your eyes! Open them, peek just enough to see where you're going but then shut them at the sight of the beasts that await!
  • ▶️ r Once more unto the breach!

Normal room, Quill Boars encounter

  • ▶️ Quill boars. Fascinating delicacy. I dined upon specimens not unlike these for what must have been millennia. Ha, couldn't get enough.

Normal room, Dazzles encounter

  • ▶️ Oh, prepare yourselves for an earthy blend of chakra and chaos magic. Sharp on the nose, nutty in flavor and... a bloody finish.

Normal room, Scarabs encounter

  • ▶️ It is said that the soul of a scarab scuttles towards the flame of wisdom. Cavort among them. Cavort and scuttle.

Normal room, Tusk Skeleton Mages encounter

  • ▶️ Defend yourselves! These skeleton mages can summon grave stones! And on those grave stones are the exact date of your death!

Normal room, Bombers encounter

  • ▶️ Aghanim's three favorite things include: The dewy grass between his toes on a summer morning, warm foam on top a milky beverage, and explosions! This encounter includes one of Aghanim's favorite things!

Normal room, Ogre Seals encounter

  • ▶️ It's hard to imagine that across the infinitude of dimensions that any creature could be endangered, but alas these corpulent lads are the last of their kind.

Normal room, Siege Wagons encounter

  • ▶️ You are under siege! Aghanim the Wise and Fair declares it so!

Normal room, Warlocks encounter

  • ▶️ I remember my days trapped upon these plains. Both scorched and pre-scorched. What horrors await you here? Aghanim the Enlightened will tell you. Several horrors!

Normal room, Roshans encounter

  • ▶️ One breathes fire. One is very small. Who is who, I dare you to venture a guess.

Normal room, Rock Golems encounter

  • ▶️ You have faced some of the deadliest monsters Aghanim was been able to procure, from the farthest most evil dimensions! But now, rock golems.

Normal room, Mushroom Mines encounter

  • ▶️ I arrived late to a distant trading post and met a lone vendor, whose only interest was in peddling these small mushrooms. Aghanim the Spacious is known to... partake in local fixes, so I thought, you know, why not?

Normal room, Pudge encounter

Normal room, Bomb Squad encounter

  • ▶️ They're as fierce as they are fat, and they aaare fat! Do the math.

Depth 1, normal room

  • ▶️ r Yes well chosen, what fun, I do hope your affairs are in order.

Depth 2, has new players

  • ▶️ But remember, looks can be deceiving. A vicious appearance could make way for the demeanor of a harmless puppy dog! But, today you should expect that puppy dog to rip your throat out!

Boss room, Temple Guardians encounter

  • ▶️ r These Malorkian guardians will defend this temple to their death. Or yours! Or until they sell the temple. Or you leave.

Boss room, Rizz Rick encounter

  • ▶️ Aghanim the Welcoming welcomes you to forest hill, made home by the feisty Rizz Rick, who knows nothing but violence.

Boss room, Storegga encounter

  • ▶️ Let me tell you a short story of Aghanim the Amorous. I've taken many partners in eons of travel, but none was as potent and generous as Storegga. There she was, grinding her granite toes at the shore of the lava flow. Our eyes met, she hoisted me in the air and... well you can surmise the rest.

Boss room, Void Spirit encounter

  • ▶️ Oh he's thirty feet tall and packed to the gills with magic! You are in for it now.

Trap room, Fire Maze

  • ▶️ r A fire maze, the hardest maze to solve! Or the easiest to solve with the most burns.

Reward room, Chickens encounter

  • ▶️ Yep, don't say a word, you don't have to. Of course you can have a chicken, Aghanim the Generous declares it so.
  • ▶️ Now you may be asking, Aghanim the Generous, from whence across the planes do these marvelous chicken spring forth? Oh ho well, the answer awaits you in the next room!

Reward room, Lizards encounter

  • ▶️ You all have earned yourselves a little treasure. Aghanim the Deserving has earned himself the joy of watching you all leap hither and yon atop dragontoads.

Reward room

  • ▶️ r Treasure for the stalwart. You've earned it.

Elite, normal room

  • ▶️ r Seriously now, Aghanim has made a big deal out of acquiring the most dangerous monsters for you to face, but much of that was pomp. In this case, however, these are some really bad guys.
  • ▶️ r You have chosen one of Aghanim's most dangerous acquisitions.
  • ▶️ r Now this is one of my most dangerous finds. You need to do Aghanim a teensy favor and... not let any of the other heroes or monsters know if you survived this, ok? It will just make everyone weird and insecure.
  • ▶️ r Now you're asking for trouble.

Aghanim room

  • ▶️ Aghanim works his wizard fingers to the bone capturing majestic beasts for years just so they can kill you once. And you can't even spare a minute just to let them kill you. Well, you know the old saying, if you want something done right, do it yourself.
  • ▶️ Well, fine. Never send an Aghanim's monster to do an Aghanim's job. You want a real challenge? You got it! Here comes Aghanim, the Interdimensional Mage King, and I'm not afraid to say it. I'm mad, and strong and I know magic! Uuh, I'm not really mad, I've been looking forward to this.
  • ▶️ I just did a hundred pushups, hero and I am pumped! Also tired, all of my blood is in my arm muscles, I feel like I'm going to pass out. Luckily I don't need my arms to cast magic at you, most of my spells do not require them. I'm sorting through them now.
  • ▶️ Have I mentioned who your final challenge is? Because he is veeery famous. Do you have an autograph book? Is it covered in your own blood? Because it soon will be.

Aghanim's Trial, elite, normal room

  • ▶️ r Oh, the deadliest challenge, impressive.
  • ▶️ r The clock ticks and you've chosen certain death? No cowards here.
  • ▶️ r The hubris, the temerity. Aghanim is impressed by the audacity of your stupidity.

Finishing rooms

Normal room

  • ▶️ r Well done, nothing left alive!
  • ▶️ r Well done, nothing left alive!
  • ▶️ r Ah you have succeeded through bravery and cunning and swords and might and cunning!
  • ▶️ r You have bested Aghanim's champions. Today you have earned something better than riches! My respect. No riches.
  • ▶️ r Well, look at you, such mighty heroes. Showing off a bit, honestly. Aghanim the Hard Worker worked very hard bringing all these creatures here, you didn't have to kill them all so fast.
  • ▶️ r Ah hahahaha, you are the best, simply the best.
  • ▶️ r Ha, you've done it!
  • ▶️ r Success!
  • ▶️ r Masterfully slain!
  • ▶️ r Nobody kills better than you guys.
  • ▶️ r Got'em all!
  • ▶️ r Bagged it!
  • ▶️ r Bagged'em!

Depth 1, has new players

  • ▶️ r Now a choice, you must decide. Which of the beasts you wish to face.

Normal room, Quill Boars encounter

  • ▶️ Delightfully slain! Did you happen to sample their flesh during combat? Did... some of their rich blood splash into your open mouth at the very least?

Normal room, Dazzles encounter

Normal room, Scarabs encounter

Normal room, Tusk Skeleton Mages encounter

  • ▶️ Well, you've survived, but with cursed knowledge of the future. Can continuing on, day after day, tormented by the unforgetable really be considered survival? No, don't answer that! Because you must!

Normal room, Rock Golems encounter

  • ▶️ Oh, Aghanim was unfair to the rock golems before. They ask that I assure you that they are normally veery dangerous.

Normal room, Ogre Seals encounter, not elite

  • ▶️ Tah, you didn't even hesistate to wipe them out! Incredible.

Normal room, Mushroom Mines encounter

  • ▶️ Well played. But have your eyes gone cross? Are you gripped by the ethereal phantoms?

Normal room, Pudge encounter

  • ▶️ Aghanim gazes upon those who have butchered the Butcher! Onward.

Normal room, Bomb Squad encounter

Boss room, Storegga encounter

  • ▶️ I see you have satiated her ample appetite. Gather your treasures and press on!
  • ▶️ Oh my my, you've killed the first of my most bloodthirsty finds. Aghanim didn't quite expect that, but of course Aghanim expects everything, so I expected not to expect it, as you would expect. Onward!

Boss room, Rizz Rick encounter

  • ▶️ Oh, such mightily strong and courageously brave heroes... Showing off a bit, really. Aghanim worked very hard to assemble this vast menagerie, and you're just whipping through them...
  • ▶️ That was but the first of Aghanim's most prized discoveries. Well done and hurry forth.
  • ▶️ Well I'll bet you feel pretty good about yourself standing there in that pool of Aghanim's monster blood like mister Brave Boots. But are those brave boots water proof Aghanim wonders? I doubt it very much, ha ha ha. Enjoy shopping for new boots!

Boss room, Temple Guardians encounter

  • ▶️ Bah, you must feel so accomplished standing there in a pool of vanquished blood. But don't you worry, Aghanim has even more beasts full of blood for your vanquishing.
  • ▶️ Aghanim is very impressed with your strength. The temple guardians are impressed, the rock golems, we're all very impressed, so if you would allow the remaining beasts to feel like they have a chance, we would be most gracious.
  • ▶️ Teamwork, bravery, perseverance, it's all on display. Perhaps the rock golems can learn something from you humble warriors. Hurry forth.

Boss room, Void Spirit encounter

  • ▶️ So you've slain the second of Aghanim's most powerful monsters. The third will not fall so easily.

Reward room, Chickens encounter

  • ▶️ Those perfect chickens are from here! Right from your own backyard! In fact, this land is the only source of chicken across all the dimensions, I stole them just this morning, from your backyard!

Reward room, Lizards encounter

Reward room

  • ▶️ r Now gold cannot buy happiness, but it can buy goods and services which can masquerade as happiness, which Aghanim argues is... just as good!

Aghanim's Trial, boss room

  • ▶️ r Well slain! There're only.. oh, a lot of parties ahead of you. Pay no mind, hurry forth!
  • ▶️ r Wo-how. You guy-- You diverse collection of entities are making great time! Go, gogogo, no time for compliments!
  • ▶️ r Aghanim the Supportive would like to tell you that you are not the fastest, but you're also not the slowest! You're comfortably nestled within the bosom of the herd, now get going!

Killing a specific enemy

Scarabs

Temple Guardians

Attacking enemies from outside their rooms

  • ▶️ 10 Cowards, Cowards! Face them in the arena!
  • ▶️ 10 An act of cowardness! You- I would expect this from Omniknight.
  • ▶️ 10 I did not bring monsters across dimensions to face such recreants!
  • ▶️ 10 Bock bock bock, that is what you sound like!
  • ▶️ 10 Oh, no! You fight them head-on!
  • ▶️ Omniknight minimap icon.png 10 An act of cowardice typical of Omniknight!

Players lagging behind

Dying with no lifes left

  • ▶️ Weaver minimap icon.png r Weaver scuttles no more.
  • ▶️ Mars minimap icon.png r And lo, Mars stood in his arena, and dropped to his knees as the blood that flowed throughout was his own.
  • ▶️ Witch Doctor minimap icon.png r Now, who doctors the doctor?
  • ▶️ Tusk minimap icon.png r I expected more from Tuskarr.
  • ▶️ Sniper minimap icon.png r I shall carve a tiny gravestone for that tiny dwarf.
  • ▶️ Viper minimap icon.png r Viper has relegated down to the ground with the normal snakes.
  • ▶️ Winter Wyvern minimap icon.png r Wyvern has perished.
  • ▶️ Omniknight minimap icon.png r Oh I pray this isn't the last of you, Omni. Uff, what a schmuck.
  • ▶️ Ursa minimap icon.png r You know, I've always wanted a bear skin rug.
  • ▶️ Snapfire minimap icon.png r Oh, my dear Beatrix, I had my money on you. Now I have to pay the rock golems.
  • ▶️ Magnus minimap icon.png r Oh Magnus, if only you could reverse the polarity of your once beating heart.

Aghanim's Trial

  • ▶️ 7 Uh, that' going to slow you down.
  • ▶️ 7 Oh, now you are the sole survivor.
  • ▶️ 7 Leave the slain, there is no time!
  • ▶️ 7 A hero has died. Spare no time in shedding tears.
  • ▶️ 7 A member of your party has perished, but keep fighting!

Selecting a reward

No new players, ascension 0, depth 1

  • ▶️ Allow Aghanim the Generous to bestow upon you an unusual talent.

25% chance

Purchasing an item

25% chance

Has new players, depth 2

  • ▶️ r This being is a capitalist. He will exchange your gold for useful items. He's guided only by the invisible hand of the market and his lust for riches.

Team wipe

  • ▶️ Oooh, bested. May your souls reconstitute themselves so you may try again.
  • ▶️ Oooh, bested. May your souls reconstitute themselves so you may try again.
  • ▶️ Oh, you're all dead. Stepped away for a moment and I come back to this?
  • ▶️ Well, you fought well. Pretty well, obviously not good enough. Next time.
  • ▶️ Aah, you fought well. I mean.. Pretty well, obviously not good enough. Maybe next time.
  • ▶️ Good night, friends. I will stack your bodies with the others.
  • ▶️ No, No! This can't be! I-I-I never imagined you'd all die fighting unkillable monsters from infinite dimensions. I wasn't... prepared for this feeling.
  • ▶️ Noooooo! Oh well.
  • ▶️ Okay, you can get up now. Playing a little possum is a fun strategy and you are really selling it. Any minute now. Would be great.
  • ▶️ You've all died? Unbelievable! Well... Totally believable, actually, probable in fact.

Aghanim's Trial

  • ▶️ Aaand you're all dead. Allow Aghanim the Bereaved to warn you of the dangers of going too fast.
  • ▶️ Akin to Icarus, you flew too fast. That's right, just like Icarus, you flew too fast.
  • ▶️ Oh no, oh my goodness, I said go, go fast, go go go, and now look what happened. I am Aghanim the At Fault.
  • ▶️ Oh no, this i- I said go go go, and now you are all dead, so I am Aghanim the Bereaved, but not technically legally liable for this, so, condolences... and that's it. followup

Unused

  • ▶️ Yes, yes.
  • ▶️ Another fire maze!
  • ▶️ And you may be wondering why Aghanim was traveling across dimensions to begin with. The story, not unlike some of you, was... short and embarrassing.
  • ▶️ On your path to Grand Magus you are taught many things none of which is as important as this: Never, under any circumstances, transpose thyself across dimensions!
  • ▶️ But how does one craft a scepter of infinite power? By transposing thyself across dimensions!
  • ▶️ I was lost among the mists of creation until I heard a tiny voice reciting my words across the din of time.
  • ▶️ It was you, and you and youu and you, calling me back, creating your quaint little versions of Aghanim's Scepter. So, thank you friends. Without your little incantations, I'd still be twisting through time and space.
  • ▶️ Your friend Bristleback needs the business, so spend, spend richly!
  • ▶️ A jungle fire maze! The hardest maze to solve, or the easiest to solve with the most burns.
  • ▶️ Ah, you're here! Magnificent. I, uh, suppose you're wondering why I invited you here by capturing you.
  • ▶️ I am Aghanim. Yes, that Aghanim. Aghanim the Mighty. The Aghanim who studied dark forbidden magic and became lost across the astral dimensions in an effort to create a grand scepter. I'm sure you heard lies about my works in hero school.
  • ▶️ But here's something your stupid teachers didn't tell you. I didn't spend half an eternity wandering multiple dimensions feeling sorry for myself. No, instead I summoned the deadliest creatures from the darkest dimensions, hoping to one day bring them here, to test the mettle of the mightiest heroes of the realm. That day is today! Let's begin.
  • ▶️ You've come! Excellent! I uh, must apologize for smashing all of your scepters to bits, I found my self most envigorating upon my return, and I let that vigor... get the best of me.
  • ▶️ I've been lost beyond the astral plane moving hither and yon between dimensions for countless lifetimes. My mind is as warped as my sense of time.
  • ▶️ But for now I'm among friends. And friends, I'd love to share with you some of the wonders to be found across dimensions. Beasts, to inspire fear, wonder, nausea and death. Just heh, just great stuff. However, you are all mighty warriors in your own way! I doubt you will die over and over and over again, so hurry forth!
  • ▶️ A mystery encounter!
  • ▶️ Uuuh, a mystery encounter!
  • ▶️ An encounter of mystery!
  • ▶️ Across dimensions, encountering a fungi means one of two things: Hallucinations, or death.
  • ▶️ Ha.
  • ▶️ Ah ha ha.
  • ▶️ Ooh ha ha ha.
  • ▶️ Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
  • ▶️ Ahhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha hoo, let's do this!
  • ▶️ I knew as you made your ingress into Aghanim's chambers that you are no slouches. The question remains however, will you be capable of your egress? I promise you, your exit is marked and unobstructed as, when Aghanim's not hosting fights to the death he is a stickler for safety.
  • ▶️ These Malorkian guardians will defend this temple to their death. Or yours! Or until they sell the temple. Or you leave.
  • ▶️ Upon wondering lost across countless dimensions I return to you having learned at least one principal fact of creation. Something common such as your friend Morphling can be made cute simply by making it small! Dote on these adorable creatures, and then smash them to bits!
  • ▶️ Upon wondering lost across countless dimensions I return to you having learned at least one principal fact of creation. Something common such as your friend Morphling can be made cute simply by making it small! Dote on these adorable creatures, and then smash them to bits!
  • ▶️ Upon wondering lost across countless dimensions I return to you having learned at least one principal fact of creation. Something common such as your friend Morphling can be made cute simply by making it small! Dote on these adorable creatures, and then smash them to bits!
  • ▶️ A wonderful choice.
  • ▶️ Wonderful choice.
  • ▶️ Excellent!
  • ▶️ Hh, that one! Ha.
  • ▶️ Ah, that one, then. Ha.
  • ▶️ Bestowed!
  • ▶️ Oh yikes!
  • ▶️ Here comes trouble!
  • ▶️ Here comes trouble.
  • ▶️ Flex your might!
  • ▶️ Flex your might.
  • ▶️ Very good.
  • ▶️ My word!
  • ▶️ Now a choice. You must decide which of the beasts you wish to face. Sight unseen.
  • ▶️ Now a choice. You must decide which of the beasts you wish to face.
  • ▶️ Made all the more challenging by your transfiguration into a simple burro! Prance on all fours through my absurd labyrinth!
  • ▶️ Low, the temple arena! Here you'll find the deadliest monsters Aghanim was able to procure from the farthest most evil dimensions and also, rock golems! Aghanim the Jokester kids about the rock golems, they're pretty deadly too.
  • ▶️ Aghanim was unfair to the rock golems earlier. They ask that I assure you that they are are too very dangerous.
  • ▶️ Remember, looks can be deceiving. A vicious appearance could wake may for the demeanor of a harmless puppy dog! But, today you should expect that puppy dog to rip your throat out!
  • ▶️ Yes well chosen, what fun, I do hope your affairs are in order.
  • ▶️ I have seen dimensions populated solely by pack animals. Donkeys, mules, alpacas. You know you can pack a raccoon with enough patience.

Followups

Hero selection

  • ▶️ I am Aghanim. Yes, that Aghanim. Aghanim the Mighty. Aghanim who studied dark forbidden magic and became lost across the astral dimensions in an effort to create a grand scepter. I'm sure you heard lies of my work in hero school.

Match start ascension 0

  • ▶️ Oh, Aghanim the Lonesome is surrounded by friends once more. Call me Aghanim the No Longer Lonesome. Wait, no, Aghanim the Social Butterfly!
  • ▶️ Aghanim the Popular welcomes you, his best friend, back. To your doom.
  • ▶️ I hope your previous experience did not leave a bad taste in your mouth.
  • ▶️ Hey can Aghanim be real for just one moment and tell you how brave you are for coming back? Are you ready? You're very brave.
  • ▶️ The rock golems will be most pleased! Wait, where are the rock golems? Sleeping?! Argh, maybe no rock golems today.
  • ▶️ There are only two ways to leave this cursed place. On your back, or on your front, it sort of depends on which way you fall when you die.

Match start ascension 1

  • ▶️ Shall we begin? Let me answer that question with the answer to my question. Let us begin!
  • ▶️ Strange and dangerous, yet somewhat familiar monsters await.

Match start ascension 2

Match start ascension 3

  • ▶️ Familiar monsters from unfamiliar dimensions hungrily await!

Room choice fire maze [?]

  • ▶️ r Made all the more challenging by your transfiguration into a simple burro! Prance on all fours through an impossible labyrinth!

Team wipe

  • ▶️ I, I admit nothing but my sadness that you're gone.