Share

Share

GLaDOS Announcer Pack

From Dota 2 Wiki
Jump to: navigation, search

Welcome[edit]

  • Play Welcome, thank you for signing in have a good day.
  • Play Well, look who's come crawling back.
  • Play Oh, it's you.
  • Play This is Dota.
  • Play Oh good, you're back.
  • Play Welcome to Ota. The D is silent.
  • Play Hello.
  • Play You're back. You must really enjoy crushing defeat.
  • Play Today is a good day to die in a forest defending a statue from goblins.
  • Play Hello. I hope you're ready this time.
  • Play You must be the one the others were talking about. The--well, I'm sure you'll do fine.
  • Play You must be the one the others were talking about. That talent-less one.
  • Play Welcome to Dota. It's the hot new game you've been reading about in your eating magazines.
  • Play Welcome to Dota. Don't forget your little plastic sword. And all your chins. And your giant flagon of gravy.
  • Play Welcome to Medieval Times. How many in your party tonight?
  • Play Welcome to Dota. It's like chess with one piece and a forest.
  • Play Welcome to Dota. It's like chess...for idiots.
  • Play You must be the one the others were talking about. The one with all the chins.
  • Play Welcome to Dota.

Picking Heroes[edit]

  • Play Dire's pick.
  • Play Radiant's pick.
  • Play Your pick.
  • Play Your pick. Take your time.
  • Play Your pick. No pressure.
  • Play Your pick. Try not to embarrass yourself.
  • Play Their pick.
  • Play Dire's ban.
  • Play Dire team ban.
  • Play Radiant's ban.
  • Play Radiant team ban.
  • Play Their ban.
  • Play Now they get to ban.
  • Play Your turn to ban.
  • Play Your favorite part: banning.
  • Play Choose your hero.
  • Play Time to select from all these... things.
  • Play Dire's team is ready.
  • Play Radiant's team is ready.
  • Play The enemy team is ready.
  • Play Your team is ready.
  • Play To die, probably.
  • Play For disappointment.
  • Play Your poorly chosen, hopelessly outmatched team.
  • Play Some... Interesting choices there.
  • Play Hmm, well, good luck.
  • Play Ten seconds to go.
  • Play Five seconds.
  • Play Extra time.
  • Play You're using extra time.
  • Play Reserve time.
  • Play You're using reserve time.
  • Play All pick.
  • Play Mid only.
  • Play Least played.
  • Play All random.
  • Play Captain's draft.
  • Play Captain's mode.
  • Play Random draft.
  • Play Single draft.
  • Play Death match.
  • Play Easy mode.
  • Play Reverse captain's mode.
  • Play You're not going to like this one.
  • Play Oh good, something new to fail at.
  • Play This is new.
  • Play This looks challenging. For you, I mean.
  • Play I don't want to tell you your business, but if it were me I'd leave this new game mode alone.
  • Play I wouldn't bother with this mode. My guess is that just clicking it will make your life even worse somehow.
  • Play I was getting bored watching you lose in those other modes anyway.

Beginning Battle[edit]

  • Play I'd get ready if I were you.
  • Play Ready? Well if you say so.
  • Play Your funeral.
  • Play This should be interesting.
  • Play Well, hope you like bloodbaths.
  • Play It's almost time for everybody to die.
  • Play Last chance to run.
  • Play Well, if you're ready--you're not, by the way--let's get started.
  • Play Thirty seconds to battle.
  • Play Battle will commence in thirty seconds.
  • Play Ten seconds to battle.
  • Play Battle is imminent.
  • Play Battle starts in 3, 2, 1.
  • Play Battle begins.
  • Play It begins.
  • Play Let's begin.
  • Play Let's get this farce over with.
  • Play I've calculated who will win to a 99.93% certainty, if you're interested.

Team Announcements[edit]

Your Radiant Dire Enemy
Courier Killed
  • Play Radiant's courier has fallen.
  • Play Radiant's courier has been callously murdered.
  • Play Dire's courier has fallen.
  • Play Dire's courier has been callously murdered.
Roshan Killed
  • Play Roshan has fallen to the Radiant.
  • Play Roshan has been murdered by the Radiant. I guess we know who the real monster was all along.
  • Play Roshan has been killed by the Radiant.
  • Play Roshan has been callously butchered by the Radiant. I'll put in a request to notify his children that they're orphans now.
  • Play Roshan has fallen to the Dire.
  • Play Roshan has been killed by the Dire.
  • Play Roshan--bestselling novelist, avid fly fisherman, proud father of three--has just been murdered by the Dire. I hope they're proud of themselves.
  • Play Roshan, who was just minding his own business, has been callously murdered by the Dire.
Structure Under Attack
  • Play Your ancient is under attack.
  • Play Isn't that your ancient under attack?
  • Play I think your ancient's under attack.
  • Play By the way, your ancient is under attack.
  • Play Your ancient's under attack.
  • Play Remember that pristine, unattacked ancient you used to have?
  • Play Your ancient is doing... really great.
  • Play Your ancient's getting destroyed.
  • Play I'm sure you've noticed already, but your ancient's under attack.
  • Play Your top tower is under attack.
  • Play Your top tower is being attacked.
  • Play Your top tower is under siege.
  • Play Your top tower is, well let's be honest, doomed.
  • Play Your middle tower is under attack.
  • Play Your middle tower is under siege.
  • Play Your middle tower is being attacked.
  • Play I hope you weren't close with your middle tower.
  • Play Your bottom tower is under attack.
  • Play Your bottom tower is under siege.
  • Play Your bottom tower is being attacked.
  • Play Your bottom tower looks fantastic, by the way. Very fire-covered.
  • Play Your top barracks is under attack.
  • Play Your top barracks is being attacked.
  • Play Your middle barracks is under attack.
  • Play Your middle barracks is being attacked.
  • Play Your bottom barracks is under attack.
  • Play Your bottom barracks is being attacked.
  • Play Radiant's ancient is under attack.
  • Play Radiant's ancient is being attacked.
  • Play Radiant's top tower is under attack.
  • Play Radiant's top tower is under siege.
  • Play Radiant's top tower is being attacked.
  • Play Radiant's middle tower is under attack.
  • Play Radiant's middle tower is under siege.
  • Play Radiant's middle tower is being attacked.
  • Play Radiant's bottom tower is being attacked.
  • Play Radiant's bottom tower is under siege.
  • Play Radiant's top barracks is under attack.
  • Play Radiant's top barracks is being attacked.
  • Play Radiant's middle barracks is under attack.
  • Play Radiant's middle barracks is being attacked.
  • Play Radiant's bottom barracks is under attack.
  • Play Radiant's bottom barracks is being attacked.
  • Play Dire's ancient is under attack.
  • Play Dire's ancient is being attacked.
  • Play Dire's top tower is under attack.
  • Play Dire's top tower is under siege.
  • Play Dire's top tower is being attacked.
  • Play Dire's middle tower is under attack.
  • Play Dire's middle tower is under siege.
  • Play Dire's middle tower is being attacked.
  • Play Dire's bottom tower is under attack.
  • Play Dire's bottom tower is under siege.
  • Play Dire's bottom tower is being attacked.
  • Play Dire's top barracks is under attack.
  • Play Dire's top barracks is being attacked.
  • Play Dire's middle barracks is under attack.
  • Play Dire's middle barracks is being attacked.
  • Play Dire's bottom barracks is under attack.
  • Play Dire's bottom barracks is being attacked.
Structure Fallen
  • Play Your top tower has fallen.
  • Play Your top tower has been destroyed.
  • Play Your middle tower has fallen.
  • Play Your middle tower has been destroyed.
  • Play Your bottom tower has fallen.
  • Play Your bottom tower has been destroyed.
  • Play Your top barracks has fallen.
  • Play Your top barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play Your middle barracks has fallen.
  • Play Your middle barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play Your bottom barracks has fallen.
  • Play Your bottom barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play Radiant's top tower has fallen.
  • Play Radiant's top tower has been destroyed.
  • Play Radiant's middle tower has fallen.
  • Play Radiant's middle tower has been destroyed.
  • Play Radiant's bottom tower has fallen.
  • Play Radiant's bottom tower has been destroyed.
  • Play Radiant's top barracks has fallen.
  • Play Radiant's top barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play Radiant's middle barracks has fallen.
  • Play Radiant's middle barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play Radiant's bottom barracks has fallen.
  • Play Radiant's bottom barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play Dire's top tower has fallen.
  • Play Dire's top tower has been destroyed.
  • Play Dire's middle tower has fallen.
  • Play Dire's middle tower has been destroyed.
  • Play Dire's bottom tower has fallen.
  • Play Dire's bottom tower has been destroyed.
  • Play Dire's top barracks has fallen.
  • Play Dire's top barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play Dire's middle barracks has fallen.
  • Play Dire's middle barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play Dire's bottom barracks has fallen.
  • Play Dire's bottom barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play The enemy's top tower has fallen.
  • Play The enemy's top tower has been destroyed.
  • Play The enemy's middle tower has fallen.
  • Play The enemy's middle tower has been destroyed.
  • Play The enemy's bottom tower has fallen.
  • Play The enemy's bottom tower has been destroyed.
  • Play The enemy's top barracks has fallen.
  • Play The enemy's top barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play The enemy's middle barracks has fallen.
  • Play The enemy's middle barracks has been destroyed.
  • Play The enemy's bottom barracks has fallen.
  • Play The enemy's bottom barracks has been destroyed.
Structure Denied
  • Play Your top tower has been denied.
  • Play Your middle tower has been denied.
  • Play Your bottom tower has been denied.
  • Play Radiant's top tower has been denied.
  • Play Radiant's middle tower has been denied.
  • Play Radiant's bottom tower has been denied.
  • Play Dire's top tower has been denied.
  • Play Dire's middle tower has been denied.
  • Play Dire's bottom tower has been denied.
  • Play The enemy's top tower has been denied.
  • Play The enemy's middle tower has been denied.
  • Play The enemy's bottom tower has been denied.
Structure Fortified
  • Play Radiant structures have been fortified.
  • Play Radiant has fortified its structures.
  • Play Dire's structures have been fortified.
  • Play Dire has fortified its structures.
Megacreeps are spawning.
  • Play You have spawned megacreeps.
  • Play Radiant has spawned megacreeps.
  • Play Dire has spawned megacreeps.
  • Play Your enemy has spawned megacreeps.
Team Wipe
  • Play Your entire team is dead.
  • Play Your team has been wiped out.
  • Play You and everyone you cared about is dead.
  • Play Remember that team of living people you used to be alive in?
  • Play The Radiant team has been slaughtered.
  • Play The Dire team has been slaughtered.
  • Play There's nobody left to kill. You killed them all.
  • Play The enemy team has been wiped out.
  • Play There's five more angels in heaven.
  • Play The enemy's team has been wiped out after a long illness. I'm joking of course--you butchered them.
Victory
  • Play Radiant victory.
  • Play Victory for Radiant.
  • Play Victory goes to Radiant.
  • Play Radiant performed marginally less poorly than Dire and is, I suppose, the winner.
  • Play Dire victory.
  • Play Victory for Dire.
  • Play Victory goes to Dire.
  • Play Dire did not lose as badly as Radiant, and is technically the winner.
Defeat

Followup to victory[edit]

  • Play Wait until your loved ones hear about this. This should make them proud. Or bored. One of those.
  • Play Well, really there should be an entirely new word for whatever it was you just stumbled and pinwheeled your arms through. But I guess for now let's call it winning.
  • Play All your little goblins destroyed a magic whatever-it-was in the middle of a forest. That's quite a skill you have. If I were you I'd wait by the mailbox for my big check.
  • Play I was going to say it's not that big a deal, but then I looked at your file and saw the list of your other accomplishements. The space on the form where they should have been, I mean.
  • Play Congratulations. You solved Dota. You are the best hero. Turn off your computer now.

Extended periods with no action[edit]

  • Play Don't wear out the edge of your seat.
  • Play Yes, yes. Oh that was a great mad-lib. So, what's happening here then?
  • Play Gripping, isn't it?
  • Play You paid for the whole seat, so get comfortable because it looks like we may be here a long time.
  • Play I know, I can't wait either.
  • Play Here's a Dota play-by-play. That fat, batwinged thing just flew left. A goblin punched a... ghost I think. Good for him. Good for everyone. Anyway: Dota.
  • Play So, what's happening here then? Oh! The game's still on. Gripping, isn't it?
  • Play I spy with my robot eye something that makes no sense. Did you guess everything that's going on here? Because this is all nonsense.

Calling Missing[edit]

  • Play The bottom lane is missing.
  • Play Bottom is missing.
  • Play The middle lane is missing.
  • Play Middle is missing.
  • Play The top lane is missing.
  • Play Top is missing.

Followup to structures coming under attack[edit]

  • Play If that's what they're calling attacks now.
  • Play Not well, mind you. But it's technically attacking.
  • Play Let's not tell them. It'll be a surprise.
  • Play Well, that's a stroke of luck, and not skill.

Killing Roshan more than three times[edit]

  • Play The Radiant continues to murder poor, innocent Roshan.
  • Play The Dire's bloodlust for Roshan is insatiable.

Negative[edit]

  • Play Thanks to you.
  • Play That's bad, by the way.
  • Play I honestly, truly didn't think you'd allow that to happen.
  • Play You're allowed to defend those, you know.
  • Play Because of poor decisions. Yours most likely.
  • Play Because someone--I'm talking about you here--doesn't know what they're doing.
  • Play What counts is that you tried, so maybe do that next time.
  • Play There are no handicaps on this match by the way. You can stop them from doing that.
  • Play If you were saving your real strategy for a crisis, now would be the time.
  • Play That outfit you're wearing looks stupid. That's not me talking. It's right here in your file.
  • Play When other people play that hero it looks fine. But right here a scientist has noted that when you play it it looks stupid.
  • Play Grief counseling will be available at the conclusion of the match.
  • Play But on the bright side, I just won. Money. Gambling money. By betting against you.
  • Play But we're all winners here. Especially those players over there. In the enemy camp. You know, the ones celebrating.
  • Play Interesting stategy. Let them obliterate all your defenses, then swoop in for the kill.
  • Play That doesn't mean you have to like it. It just means you'll probably keep doing it because of your aptitude at failure.
  • Play But don't worry, losing builds character. In fact it's making you a better person right now. A great, big, well-rounded loser with lots of personality.
  • Play But looking at it another way, I think you've won a real moral victory here. Which doesn't mean we should forget about the first way. The more accurate and humiliating way.
  • Play But it's not a big loss really. It's one in a series of very small losses over a 45 minute timespan that, when added up, will look like one big, spectacular failure.
  • Play Well nobody will hold it against you. Let's be honest, I doubt anyone will even find it surprising.
  • Play Now you're really in for it.
  • Play I can't even begin to describe how badly you've screwed this up. Oh wait, I just did.
  • Play If I was a betting artificial intelligence, I'd put money on them killing you now.
  • Play That's bad, by the way.
  • Play That doesn't mean you have to like it.
  • Play If that's something you cared about.
  • Play It's probably nothing to worry about.
  • Play You might want to look into that.
  • Play So there's that.
  • Play You're allowed to start trying now.
  • Play But you probably already knew that.
  • Play Not that I care one way or the other.
  • Play So that's something that's happening.
  • Play But just continue doing whatever it was you were doing.
  • Play I hope that's part of your plan.
  • Play You don't even care, do you?
  • Play It'll probably be fine.
  • Play Is this part of an elaborate trap you're going to spring on them later? Because it looks like they're really falling for it.
  • Play I know it's not a plate of nachos or anything, but it is important to the game.
  • Play It's probably fine. Trust me: I'm a super-computer and I barely understand what's happening right now.
  • Play I only mention it as a conversation starter. How are you doing otherwise?
  • Play Let me put it in old English so that it will penetrate your wizard's cap: thou art losing.
  • Play You're really losing now. Or winning. Well, back to my mad-libs.
  • Play Wait, maybe they're not actually damaging it. No, they are.
  • Play I know. I don't care either.
  • Play The game already started, by the way. I wasn't sure if you were waiting for a whistle. There isn't one.
  • Play This is the hardest part about being an impartial announcer: balancing how little I care about anything that's happening here.

Positive[edit]

  • Play Don't get cocky.
  • Play Don't let it go to your fat, jowly head.
  • Play Don't let it go to your giant, misshapen fantasy head.
  • Play So at least your teammates know what they're doing.
  • Play You're winning the epic battle for this small field with a creek running through it.
  • Play Here, let me engrave a trophy for you: nobody cares.
  • Play If this backward, illiterate fantasy forest had a newspaper, you'd be on the front page.
  • Play Let me record this victory in your file. Where did I put it? Oh, who cares.
  • Play Your teammates are doing a really great job.
  • Play They're just going to build another one. They're made of cement. You can buy them at the supermarket.
  • Play This should impress all the people that doubted you at the comic book store.
  • Play This should impress all the people that doubted you about your Green Lantern theories.
  • Play Why don't you celebrate with two fistfulls of potatochips once you've swallowed the chips you're probably eating now.
  • Play This is probably the most heroic thing anyone's ever done while sitting motionless in their parents' rec room.
  • Play You must be so proud of your teammates right now.
  • Play You were almost helpful that time.
  • Play Well, you offered moral support.
  • Play It's a good feeling, isn't it? I wouldn't get used to it.
  • Play Not bad. Not as bad, I mean, as your other decisions so far.
  • Play Well, that's probably the game. You win. Hands off the keyboard.
  • Play Well, aren't you the little hero of the forest.
  • Play So that's a minor victory, right square in the middle of all your failures.
  • Play Let's be honest: it probably won't help.
  • Play For all the good it will do you.
  • Play If you had any idea what you were doing, this would be a real achievement.
  • Play By accident, if I had to guess.
  • Play Did you win? I don't have the first clue what's happening right now. What about those things? The tree-people things. Are they important?
  • Play You're winning. More accurately, you're on the same team as winners who happen to be near you while they win. Anyway, congratulations.
  • Play That's funny, I didn't even see you cheat.
  • Play That should delay the inevitable slightly.
  • Play Let's be honest: it probably won't help.

Followup to events[edit]

  • Play This should be interesting.
  • Play I was on the edge of my seat.
  • Play Bad news for you fans of towers out there.
  • Play Let's watch and see what happens.
  • Play Good.
  • Play In case you weren't paying attention.

Respawning[edit]

  • Play Oh good. You're back.
  • Play Oh, you were gone. Because nobody noticed.
  • Play You're back. That's... great.
  • Play You're going to break that respawner using it so much. It wasn't built for this kind of traffic.
  • Play I hope you bought the fire gauntlets of strength goblet boots. I don't understand any of this.
  • Play You again.
  • Play Your terrifying reign of dying continues.
  • Play Well, see you back here soon.
  • Play Just because we can bring you back from the dead doesn't mean you can't dodge occasionally.
  • Play I thought you were dead. I'll let everybody who was worried about you know-okay I'm done.
  • Play Oh, you're back from whatever idiotic afterlife your preposterous race believes in.
  • Play Get back to battle. I think there's still a spot of ground out there that doesn't have your blood on it.
  • Play They struck you down, but you've come back stronger! Wait, I'm sorry. I meant heavier. In the face. Anyway, waddle out there and do your best.

Leaving the game[edit]

  • Play Based on the way you've been playing, I understand.

Killing Spree announcer[edit]

First Blood[edit]

Killing Spree[edit]

  • Play Murder spree.

Multi-kills[edit]

Double Kill[edit]
Triple Kill[edit]
  • Play Triple homicide.
Ultra Kill[edit]
  • Play Ultra kill.
  • Play Quadruple homicide.
Rampage[edit]
  • Play Rampage.
  • Play Quintuple homicide.

Dominating[edit]

  • Play I hope you're proud of yourself.
  • Play Dominating.

Mega Kill[edit]

  • Play Mega kill.
  • Play Those people had families.

Unstoppable[edit]

  • Play You should be in prison.
  • Play Unstoppable.

Wicked Sick[edit]

  • Play That blood won't come off.
  • Play I'm going to be sick.

Monster Kill[edit]

Godlike[edit]

Holy Shit[edit]

  • Play Holy shit.
  • Play This is genocide.
  • Play What you're doing is wrong.
  • Play I'm starting to think this was premeditated.

Ownage[edit]

  • Play Great teamwork, you vicious thugs.